Wikipedia may be the world's largest online encyclopedia, but lately its increasing credibility and citation of sources have sucked out all of its fun. What if you just want something to laugh at, like a page of bullshit you're never ever going to need to know or reference in real life? That's where wiki pages come in.
Wiki pages are the Internet's answer to groups of people with nothing better to do than compile lots and lots of trivial information on useless topics. Like Super Mario. Or dicks. Or World of Warcraft. We at Westword like to consider reading wikis the most highly entertaining and, frankly, most pointless way to kill a Thursday afternoon at a computer. So we put together a list of our favorite Top 10 useless wikis -- judged by creativity, content and, best of all, uselessness. We hope you need to kill four hours, too...
10. This Might Be a Wiki: The They Might Be Giants knowledge base Who doesn't love They Might Be Giants? Though This Might Be a Wiki may not convert you to a die-hard fan overnight, it will at least give you an appreciation for the Brooklyn band with an entry about every song, album, EP and piece of merchandise currently being auctioned off on eBay.
Killing time: If you still need something to keep you occupied after perusing all 631 entries -- featuring trivia, including a list of words and phrases the band members never allow each other to say, like "I threw up a little in my mouth" (who knew!) -- check out this video clip from an episode of Tiny Toons featuring "Istanbul (Not Constantinople)," one of They Might Be Giants' more popular political-but-not-super-political songs.
9. Super Mario Wiki Boasting the one of the only wiki-based newspapers, The 'Shroom (the next issue comes out on April 16, by the way), this Mario-based wiki covers all the bases within the Mario universe. From descriptions of the 1,300 different items that appear in any Mario game to the official moves Mario and others practice in all of the games, this list is almost as scarily in-depth as our no. 2 wiki. Super Mario Wiki has been around for almost six years now, and it makes us wonder: how do the founders of this page have the time to update this wiki regularly AND play the Mario games? Are they using star power?
Makin' Nooki: Super Mario Wiki is part of a large group of wikis based on different Nintendo games, called the Nintendo Independent Wiki Alliance (NIWA). Our second-favorite cousin of Super Mario Wiki is Nookipedia. Nookipedia is the wiki for the game Animal Crossing. Its only fault is that the wiki is perhaps more exciting than the game itself. For our overall favorite cousin of Super Mario Wiki, see no. 6 on our list.
8. Anime Showdown Ever wonder who would win a battle between Jackie Chan and Captain America? No? That's ok -- the creators of Anime Showdown did for you. Compiling a list of over 279 anime characters with individual characteristics, special powers and attributes, this wiki has managed to enable users to pit every anime character and random cartoons against each other in measurable ways. Will Master Roshi ever defeat Santa Claus? Compare their character profiles to find out -- but, let's face it, that bowl full o' jelly will beat out any Dragon Ball kamehameha energy beam attack any day of the week, whether Christmas or not.
Reality bites: The character profiles of real life figures on Anime Showdown, including Jackie Chan, Greek god Heracles and Chris Brown, are prized contributions to Internet ridiculousness. According to the wiki, Chris Brown's "Get buck in here" technique makes the singer "break out into Krump... [and thereby] increases his dynamic strength, combat speed and overall bloodlust." Then there's a picture of the abused and bloodied Rihanna. We can't help but wonder if her "umbrella" technique stood any chance against his potent "I can transform ya" attack. Poor girl probably never saw it coming.
7. Wookieepedia This wiki's name is our absolute favorite from the list. An encyclopedia of all things Star Wars, Wookieepedia is any jedi's wet dream. The best feature about this wiki is easily its quote of the day, always taken out of context, never making sense to the casual web surfer. Here's one in particular that seems super rando (major props to whoever can identify the Star Wars movie this occurs in):
Wedge Antilles: "You need to consider working as a team player."
Han Solo: "I'm a team player. As long as the rest of the team stays behind me."
Wuh-woh: As an open-edit encyclopedia, this wiki is open for any Star Wars to edit. But beware. There is a panel of Wookieepedians who review, monitor and improve all featured articles. Known as The Inquisitorius, this group of Wookieepedians also has the power to reject all new entries. Think of it like the revenge of the Sith, but for Wookieepedians.
6. Bulbapedia Like Super Mario Wiki, Bulbapedia comes from the NIWA, a wiki collective of Nintendo games. Bulbapedia covers all things Pokémon, including random facts, which creatures have the highest HP and which trainers are located where in the game maps -- we know full well you were a Poké-freak like we were when Poké fever hit the Poké 90s, so don't try to tell us you don't know what "HP" means. Bulbapedia also comes equipped with a forum filled with users' Poké fan art as well as a gallery for original Pokémon users have created.
Gotta catch 'em all: Think you've gotten your fill with Pokémon trivia? Think again. Encyclopædiæ Pokémonis is a collection of Pokémon encyclopedias in multiple languages. Ever wonder what a Spanish Pikachu was like? Pokéteca explains: Pikachu "es un Pokémon ratón de color amarillo de cuatro patas, pero puede andar sobre dos, de tipo Eléctrico. En sus rojas mejillas almacena grandes cantidades de electricidad." ¡Que raro!
5. The Conspiracy Wiki Do NOT read this wiki. Just kidding. It sounds like the founders of Conspiracy Wiki are far too paranoid... but maybe they have the right to be. With information about every major alleged governmental cover-up ever, the Conspiracy Wiki is an entertaining time-suck. Illuminati? Check. Freemasons? You bet. Even the Kennedy Assassination is explored as a hoax. It's too bad the wiki loses credibility by claiming that some people out there -- way, way out there -- have theorized Kennedy's murder to be caused by Chuck Norris. Conspiracy or crap? You be the judge.
More bang for your buck: In terms of ridiculousness, no entry compares to that of the one for the Walt Disney Corporation. Explaining the controversy associated with Disney movies, Conspiracy Wiki claims that there was once an erect penis on the first cover of "The Little Mermaid." We'd hate to read what the Conspiracy Wiki might say about poor Pinocchio.
4. Dickipedia: A Wiki of Dicks Sorry, but this wiki is not what some of you may expect, like a collection of penis pics. Instead, think of it like this: if Chelsea Handler's blunt comedy were to be combined with the passive-aggressiveness of the Internet, this is what you'd get. Dickipedia: A Wiki of Dicks is a throbbing collection of over 140 people considered dicks in different cultural groups and explanations of how they are dickish. Compiled by Huffington Post comedy, entries range from Ann Coulter ("She may in fact be an alien life form. That, actually, would explain a lot") to Brett Favre ("He is also a crying 15-year-old girl, drug user, and a dick") -- and all are dripping with hilarity.
It's David Blaine, bitch: Westword's favorite Dikipedia entry is for David Blaine, the high-profile illusionist whose hilarious "Street Magic" web parody shot him from "meh" to Internet celebri-joke. Dickipedia summarizes Blaine's black magic best by saying, "There have been many allegations that Blaine is in fact the Antichrist and/or a demon because of his use of magic, but as religious scholars have pointed out, even Satan has better facial hair." Can't argue with that.
3. WikiAfterDark "Everybody seems to be having sex nowadays" begins the wiki for users not used to using their wiki. Unlike Dickipedia, WikiAfterDark is everything it advertises: a collection of sexual tips, tricks and information. Don't know how to finger a girl? Don't worry, WikiAfterDark does. Never pulled out in time before? WikiAfterDark has a three-step process to avoid a pregnancy scare.
For teens, by teens: Though WikiAfterDark claims to be from the creators of WannaWiki.com, the juvenile explanations make us believe WikiAfterDark is no more than an after-school project originating from the raging hormones of middle school boys whose only sexual education comes in the form of the porn they watch online (which is conveniently linked to on different pages of the wiki). For some wildly entertaining reads, try clicking on the "Random Page" link on the Navigation menu on the left side -- you might learn something! And don't forget to read the top 5 rated articles, including the user-favorite "Give a Tit Fuck."
2. WoWWiki So you have the World of Warcraft t-shirts. And the stickers. And the expansion packs. But do you have the moves? If not, try impressing the ladies with all your awesome trivia regarding World of Warcraft. Here's your textbook: the WoWWiki, a guide to the WoW universe that's been around since 2004. WoWWiki has trivia suitable for every occasion, from picking up a lady friend at the Scarlet Raven Tavern in Darkshire, Duskwood, to taking her back to your room at the Golshire Inn in Elywnn Forest. Slip in any trivia you might read from the WoWWiki during your chat and watch innocent flirtations evolve into hot and steamy lines of cybersex in just a few taps of the "enter" key.
Locals get it: Instead of the ladies, the WoW avatar Leeroy Jenkins (real name: Ben Schulz, of Lafayette, Colo.) managed to lead a horde of WoW players into a death trap. The players' attack was highly strategized; eleven players used headsets to talk to each other as their avatars stood outside awaiting their instruction. Well, all but one. Leeroy Jenkins. Disregarding all plans for attack, Leeroy ran in to the battle arena as he yelled, "Leeeeeroy Jenkins!" (Watch the clip here.) Now, that battle cry is a major WoW inside joke. So much so that Jeopardy even jumped on the cultural bandwagon and had a question about Leeroy on the show back in 2004.
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1. Wipipedia Apparently London has quite the BDSM scene, if this wiki's 830,000 page-views are any indication. Making WikiAfterDark look like amateur hour, Wipipedia is a wiki page for fetishists and BDSM enthusiasts based out of London who enjoy a good whipping here and there. And who can blame them? Of all the wikis with a random page generator, Wipipedia's is by far our favorite. Looking to take a trip down BDSM lane? Start by reading a detailed entry on safewords. Wipipedia explains, "Ignoring safewords is considered dishonorable and a deeply immoral practice in the BDSM community and can lead to criminal charges." Another random entry is for Unfettered, which is a voluntary group that formed in 2004 "to run educational and entertainment events in the UK to further the cause of BDSM and fetish. Kinkfest 2004 was the first event." Hey, you learn something new every day!
Whip me, baby, one more time: If you're ever questioning the credibility of certain entries, hop on over to the community portal, where users discuss the most interesting of BDSM topics, including forced homosexuality, non-consensuality vs. BDSM and the posting of hardcore porn images to better explain certain entries.