Ten signs your Colorado man might not be man enough for you
This is Menver, known for its fit, healthy and attractive men. They ski, bike, climb and run. They wear Patagonia, own 4-wheel-drive vehicles and head to the mountains whenever possible. In today's metrosexual, blurred-gender-role world, this can be confusing: Is your date man enough? If you spot several of these signs while sitting across from a guy at a restaurant, you may need to ask for the check and look for the exit.
10. He doesn't have a go-to cocktail.
Whiskey, Scotch, vodka or gin. Since the days of Don Draper, a man knows his cocktail. On the rocks, neat, shaken or stirred -- it doesn't matter, as long as there isn't an umbrella in it.
9. His collection of GI Joe, Thundercats or Transformers is on display.
Unless you jumped in a time machine and went back to 1984 and he's twelve, you shouldn't see such displays. No one is saying he can't still have the toys, but they should be in a box in the basement of his parents' house. This is the male equivalent of the mountain of dolls and My Little Ponies that you once had piled on your lavender canopy bed: If you introduced him to Strawberry Shortcake or Rainbow Bright the first time he came over to your place, he would run. And he'd be right.
8. He faints at the sight of blood.
The technical term is vasovagal syncope, and doctors believe it is a genetic primitive reflex that buried itself in the brain. The theory is that if an enemy chopped off the arm of a caveman, the caveman would pass out -- and, believing the caveman was dead, the attacker wouldn't chop off his head, too, and so the caveman would survive. This might have worked then, but really, when was the last time a competitor chopped off someone's arm on the golf course?
7. He has cats.
Not one furry friend, but two or three -- even if their names are Butch and Max and he swears they are way cooler than other cats, more like lions. No. Just no.
6. He can't drive a stick.
His dad, uncle, older brother -- someone should have taught him this. If Danica Patrick can go 500 laps at 125 mph, he should be able to shift from second to third.
Continue reading for more signs.
Via Rosie Huntington-Whiteley's Facebook page.
5. He wouldn't sleep with Rosie Huntington-Whiteley.
She was in Transformers, she ranked eleventh on Maxim's Hot 100 last year, she's dating Jason Stratham, she's a Victoria's Secret Angel, and her lips are better than Angelina's. Gay men want to sleep with her.
4. He owns a white iPhone.
So what if it's easier to find in your manbag?
3. He's a vegetarian.
Since the Stone Age, men have been hunters. Hunters of deer, bison, pheasant and other edibles. Lucky for us, a bow and arrow is no longer necessary; there are these things called meat counters. He should know the way to them. Beef, chicken or pork, it doesn't matter: He should pick up some meat, grill it and enjoy it.
2. He can't name a Bronco other than Peyton Manning.
And Elway and Tebow don't count. Eric Decker, Von Miller, Demaryius Thomas, Elvis Dumervil or Champ Bailey -- there are so many. No one is suggesting he wear a jersey or paint his face blue on game day, but he should know who Manning is looking for down the field. After all, you do.
1. He doesn't own a tool, power or otherwise.
We're not talking in his pants -- we're talking in shed, garage or tool box. A hammer, screwdriver, power drill (preferable) or a wrench. In a perfect world, he would also have a hacksaw, ratchets, a level and a stud finder -- and bring them over to help you with home-improvement projects.
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