The historic photos of Golden in Focus, explained

Golden in Focus kicks off this weekend, showcasing a wide variety of photos from Golden's illustrious history -- and man, was it ever illustrious. We've got a preview of five of these pictures after the break, with helpful captions to explain exactly what's going on, the historical context and other very serious things.

The historic photos of Golden in Focus, explained
Colorado School of Mines football player, 1904 Golden History Museums, City of Golden Collection (N824)

Back in ye olden tymes, football players were a hell of a lot tougher, even at the School of Mines. Of course, being a new sport, the actual game was often confusing to spectators. This gentlemen's wife didn't understand why the game was so concerned about finding quarters, once asking him, "why is everyone so intent on getting the quarter back?" [Editor's note: We apologize for this joke]

The historic photos of Golden in Focus, explained
Most likely this was a tourist photo taken in front of a painted backdrop of Castle Rock, about 1900-1925 Golden History Museums, City of Golden Collection (N680)

The Golden History Museum seems to think this is a staged photo, but we did a little research and got the real hot scoop: These are aliens. That's right, despite what Scientology tells us, this is the first time aliens attempted to land on Earth, but they were captured by a photographer's soul-sucking machine (camera) and now live inside this photo. Now that the photo is digitized, they're running around the Internet, causing chaos and leaving inappropriate comments on news blogs. Creepy, we know.

The historic photos of Golden in Focus, explained
Colorado and Southern Railroad engine in Golden yard Golden History Museums, City of Golden Collection (N403)

Trains were once used to travel from one area to another in an efficient manner. However, certain trains were capable of hypersonic quad-dimensional shuffling, as is evidenced by the blurry boy in this picture. Most of these trains ended up shuffling into alternate universes, never to be seen again.

The historic photos of Golden in Focus, explained
Studio portrait of a miner or geologist taken in Golden, about 1890 Golden History Museums, City of Golden Collection (N351)

If you look closely at the man's hip, you'll notice his gun appears to be missing, leading us to believe this was a shot set up by a mining company to depict miners as handsome, well-meaning young men. This man, an aspiring actor, wanted nothing to do with it until the photographer took his gun and pointed it at him, forcing him to pose.

The historic photos of Golden in Focus, explained
Golden Street scene Washington Ave. Golden History Museums, City of Golden Collection (N974)

This may appear to be a casual picture of a beautiful Golden street, but NASA has just confirmed that the car in the photo is the first appearance of the race known as Autobots on American soil. These Autobots would go on to found the School of Mines, while their arch-nemesis, the Decepticons, would found the Massachusetts School of Technology.

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