The Santa Ratings: Bass Pro Shops Outdoor World
Then this dead wolf was all like, "Grrr."
Once my vegetarian sister and I navigated through the fishing poles, ATVs and a room of guns, we found Santa's wonderland, parked conveniently next to the boats. The line to see Santa was long, but we hopped in with high hopes. Five minutes into standing in line and feeling like two childless weirdos, a woman informed us that we should probably get "a ticket" to see Santa. She must have smelled the clue-free on our not-plaid jackets. I held our place in line while veggie sister went to get a ticket. Upon quickly returning, she muttered "5:30" to me. Wait, what? It was now 2:45 p.m. We were supposed to come back in two hours and 45 minutes just to see Santa? I blurted out a Joe Dirt "Dang!" and decided we needed a new plan of attack, because being in a bustling Outdoor World for three hours after just devouring seven Cheddar Bay biscuits at the neighboring Red Lobster was not going to happen.
Behold! Elevator Mountain.
But smart sister had an idea: Why not just climb to the top of indoor mountain and take surveillance-style photos of Santa from the second floor? After all, we did not drive all the way to Northfield's Bass Pro Shops Outdoor World to not get a photo. If we couldn't get a photo with Santa, we were still going to get a photo of Santa. Somehow missing the giant glass elevator in the mountain, we hiked up the treacherous rock staircase only to find a whole new world of hunting crap like we had never seen before: Head-to-toe leafy camouflage outfits, a kiddie shooting range and a miniature tent city awaited our excavation. But we could not be distracted from our mission, so we pushed through orange vests and fleece body blankets to the log railing overlooking Santa and the boats, and snapped some photos.
That's our guy!
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