The Santa Ratings: The Hotel Colorado in Glenwood Springs
And I'm like, "WTF are you looking at, Santa?"
The 118-year-old Hotel Colorado's holiday decor was more legit than any mall Christmas tchotchkes I've encountered. There were the above-mentioned Santas, but also halls doused in fluffy poly-cotton snow being trampled by giant white Teddy bears, not-real carolers, and even a fireplace-perched Joseph and Mary, complete with Jesus accessory.
Forget a manger, Jesus now comes hip-mounted, like a fanny pack.
Though the lens of my janky camera phone couldn't accurately capture the grand scale of these displays, it did hold true to some of the inherent creepiness. Or maybe it was because prior to leaving for this quick trip to take my East Coastie BFF lazy-girl sightseeing, our mutual friend mentioned that the hotel was haunted -- something about hearing a whimpering in the night that didn't come from any living human.
The other, looming Santa.
Century-old hotels are creepy to begin with, but add a haunting and shit-tons of Christmas decor to the mix and this place might as well be the Stanley Hotel. Considering my freak-out-o-meter tops off at Michael Jackson's video for Thriller being too scary, the crying haunting story effectively kept me up throughout the night. (Not to mention the thought of a stuffed lynx wearing a reindeer antler headband possibly coming to life and eating my face off, a night terror that couldn't even be put to rest by two full listens of the Strokes' Is This It? on my iPod while I gripped the crunchy hotel sheets in piss-pants fear.)
I'm going to eat your face off. Happy holidays.
Somehow I eventually fell asleep and woke up the next day unharmed. And I will probably visit the Hotel Colorado again -- because, along with having zero tolerance for anything scary, creepy or freaky, I also have no long- or short-term memory whatsoever. Meaning, I probably won't remember the haunting, but I'll hopefully remember how awesome the Santa situation was.
Get the Arts & Culture Newsletter
Find out about upcoming performances, exhibitions, openings and special events happening in the Denver art and theater scene.