Judge me if you will: I love The Jersey Shore. I love the uber-clever film editing designed to highlight the characters' duplicity and incompetence, I love the fact that it's inexplicably in Miami instead of New Jersey this season, hell, I even, in a weird way, love the Guido gang -- and while they're all creepers to varying degrees, the undisputed creepiest is Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino. Aggressive, hypersexed and astonishingly sleazy, The Situation never goes an episode without doing something sexually inappropriate, often taking it to queasy levels of insistence -- which is why it's pretty gross that the television network Extra would commission him to be their host at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show.
The results, predictably, are also gross -- every time he talks to a woman, he comes off like Eddie Haskel inviting Mrs. Cleaver to a swinger party while rubbing butter on his chest. Watch him react with mild dismay every time he asks someone about the "sexiest gift" they've ever bought and received and they say jewelry, as if someone is going to come out with "a dildo" or something on the red carpet. Then watch as he, completely undeterred, asks yet more prurient questions; I mean, good Lord, the Hilton sisters' posture looks downright defensive.
And why does his hair look like Max Headroom wrestled an Etch-a-Sketch?
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Don't get me wrong: Celebrity correspondents are fun -- it's always kind of neat to see celebrities interacting with other celebrities in a casual context. And The Jersey Shore is hot right now -- but honestly, the Situation is probably the worst person you could possibly pick to fill this role. Yep, we've got a Situation, alright. And that situation looks alarmingly like date rape.