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The Victorian Fetish Ball: An imagined breakdown of freaky Victorian sex acts (photos NSFW)

*To answer a question from a reader: No, there were not actual sex acts going on at this party. We thought it was clear this was a silly work of adult-themed satire based on our research of Victorian fetishes. We apologize for any confusion. -ed.

It's always the most repressed people that get the freakiest. And the 19th-century Britons were one of the most repressed cultures of all time -- so you know their sex got downright depraved. At the Victorian Fetish Ball at the Diamond Cabaret on Sunday, a number of Victorian experts and historians gathered to teach onlookers about the strange and disturbing world that is Victorian sexuality, demonstrating the garb and fetishes that made Victorians the freakiest culture since the Spartans. Here's a breakdown of the Victorians' weirdest sexual proclivities. Photos by Aaron Thackeray (see the full slideshow).

The Victorian Fetish Ball: An imagined breakdown of freaky Victorian sex acts (photos NSFW)

Constipation The Victorians had weird issues around pooping, a particular type of repression that no doubt inspired Freud when he developed his ideas on the anal stage of development. Here, this muscle-bound gentlemen derives pleasure from bringing himself to the cusp of defecation and withholding -- if he succeeds, she'll give him a "Febreeze enema."

The Victorian Fetish Ball: An imagined breakdown of freaky Victorian sex acts (photos NSFW)

Sailors versus Indians Back in the days of manifest destiny, the Victorians fetishized the great unknown, its occupants (native Americans) and its explorers (sailors), creating elaborate role-play scenarios of humiliation and dominion that pretty much always ended in somebody getting an enema.

 

The Victorian Fetish Ball: An imagined breakdown of freaky Victorian sex acts (photos NSFW)

Furries Everybody knows Elmer Fudd, but fewer know that the beloved Warner Bros. cartoon character is actually based on a watered-down version of the huntress/seductress from Bunenema, a bestiality-themed bondage comic from the Victorian era, who also struggled with an adorable speech impediment.

The Victorian Fetish Ball: An imagined breakdown of freaky Victorian sex acts (photos NSFW)

Self-flagellation As a result of the extreme stigma attached to any sexual activity in Victorian times, Victorians derived pleasure from punishing themselves for their sexual pleasure -- a rondo of circular psychology that basically boils down to "they got off on whipping themselves in the crotch." That whip, by the way, is tubular, and can also be connected to the strap-on-enema machine. Come to think of it, there's really no Victorian fetish that doesn't in some way involve enemas.

The Victorian Fetish Ball: An imagined breakdown of freaky Victorian sex acts (photos NSFW)

Micocephilia Sufferers of a genetic mutation sometimes associated with malnutrition, microcephalics (i.e., "pinheads") and became a sought-after commodity in Victorian times, owing to the incorrect idea that they were genetically dissimilar enough from normal humans to warrant the twin bonuses of avoiding an embarrassing pregnancy and engaging in bestiality. This microcephalic's head is actually smaller even than his mask, the excess room of which is filled with absinthe and administers enemas.

 

The Victorian Fetish Ball: An imagined breakdown of freaky Victorian sex acts (photos NSFW)

Meditation Drawing on then-new ideas of Eastern spirituality and tantric practices, the Victorians would often go long periods of time meditating to a zen-like state, or at least as long as they could go while holding in the enema.

The Victorian Fetish Ball: An imagined breakdown of freaky Victorian sex acts (photos NSFW)

Extreme bondage In what was probably a reaction to the common chauvinism of the time, sexual practices subverted the common ideology with extreme female-on-male bondage that often factored in ceremonial garb and role-play scenarios. Here, this woman chews on a necklace made from the teeth of a submissive male while wearing a mask and the headdress commonly known at the time as the "Blossom Hat."

The Victorian Fetish Ball: An imagined breakdown of freaky Victorian sex acts (photos NSFW)

Elephantiasis/horror What's going on in this photo is too perverse to even describe.


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