Calling all office joes and fraternity bros -- don't have time to read Tim Tebow's new book, Through My Eyes, but still want to live your life as righteously as possible? Do what Tebow does: follow the Mile-High Messiah's Ten Commandments for Living a Holy Life, as helpfully assembled by Westword. And yes, folks, each quote below is taken, word for word, from Through My Eyes -- and if Through My Eyes is endorsed by people like Darius Rucker (of Hootie and the Blowfish) and Chuck Norris (of Chuck Norris), you can't go wrong by living your life in accordance with the Mile-High Messiah's guidelines. Now, go forth and score that touchdown!
10. Thou shalt love thy children by honouring thy Lord. "That's a great blessing to give a child. To remind them, pray for them, and assure them that God has a great plan -- in His terms and for His purposes -- for their lives."
9. Thou shalt love thyself and thy disabilities. "Dyslexia wasn't a disability, just a difference...we [are] wonderful creations of God, with our God-given intelligence and abilities. "
8. Thou shalt understand that hard work is thy Lord's due diligence. "Hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard...I'm sure that God made me in such a way that I was willing to work hard, but there was certainly a lot of parental encouragement and nurturing as well.
7. Thou shalt love thy Lord with all thy heart, and all they soul, and all thy Monday nights. "The most important thing that has occurred in my life happened in those early years. When I was six, I knew I was ready to accept Jesus into my heart, to accept what He had done for me to allow me to go to heaven.
6. Thou shalt not take thy Lord's name in vain, especially when discussing athletic performance. "After everyone else had gone, I asked why he was not running any harder. To my surprise, he used God in his explanation. He said, 'God told me this morning to stay back and run with this guy because I needed to encourage him'...I told him that he was being extremely lazy and inappropriately using God as an excuse."
5. Thou shalt enroll in a university that will promote the fruits of thy relationships (with strangers), not challenge thee academically. "Choosing between the many scholarship offers I was blessed to receive really boiled down to relationships. As with most areas of our life, whom we will work with and who will be our friends makes all the difference.
4. Thou shalt use thy celebrity status to benefit those who are less blessed than thou. "I thought I could use the platform God had given me to raise some money in and around the Gainesville area because of all the folks who knew me there. I was constantly asked to make appearances and sign autographs, and maybe there was a way to leverage that notoriety to raise money to support the orphanage we starred in the Philippines."
3. Thou shalt permit thy Lord to take hold of thy tongue and use it for divine purpose. "Then I began to speak, first sharing something from my heart. It must have gone okay and it must have been sufficient for God to use, because I spoke for a few minutes about the good news of the gospel of Christ, and we ended up praying with seven or eight kids to accept Christ right then and there."
2. Thou shalt play football for thy Lord, for there is no greater glory. "How much greater will it feel when we get to heaven and Jesus takes off his headset, opens up His arms, gives us a big hug, and says, 'Atta boy. Great job. You finished. I loved you.'"
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1. Thou shalt not brag about thyself...unless someone first requests thee brag about thyself. "My parents decided that, with three boys around the house who were as competitive as we were, we had to institute a new rule. I was still young, and they were already concerned about the bragging that we were doing among ourselves. Here was the rule: we were forbidden from talking about our own accomplishments, unless asked first by someone else.
Tim Tebow will be signing copies of "Through My Eyes" this Saturday at 4 p.m. at the Tattered Cover in LoDo, at 1628 16th Street.