Top Five Least Christmas-y Christmas Movies
Move over Santa Claus: John McClane is our hero this Christmas.
As soon as Thanksgiving is over, Christmas is shoved down your throat -- whether you like it or not. But just because it's the holiday season doesn't mean everyone's life is full of Kodak moments bubbling with seasonal cheer. Sometimes you may want to celebrate, but sometimes you've had your fill of cheesy, magical moments and just want to sit back and watch a car chase or maybe even a masked orgy instead of weeping to It's a Wonderful Life for the hundredth time. When you're in the mood for some seasonal cheer but don't want a movie where Christmas is the main focus, try one of these five. See also: Five Movies to Be Thankful for This Thanksgiving
5) The Hudsucker Proxy (1994) The Hudsucker Proxy follows the American Dream of success all the way from the mail room to the the head of the company's office, and it features the invention of one of the most iconic toys in history:the hula hoop. The Coen brothers's ode to screwball comedies is indeed a little screwy, and a caricature of corporate America. It's silly and fun and captures a light-hearted comedic spirit with a dark edge that gives a hint of what you'll see in Fargo, which came out only two years later.
4) The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996) Long before The Bourne Identity, there was the The Long Kiss Goodnight, about a housewife with amnesia who eventually realizes she's actually a CIA assassin. There's no better way to celebrate the holidays than with a badass Geena Davis. An unlikely action star, Davis delivers major thrills while sporting a cute blonde bob -- because every spy needs a chic haircut. The movie captures every modern woman's struggle of saving the world and not burning the darn muffins.
Brazil takes place in a dystopian future where all the action starts because of typo caused by a dead fly. It's an Orwellian, science fiction version of a Christmas tale. This black comedy comments on totalitarian governments and unnecessary bureaucracy; the yuletide season is a perfect frame for the story, touching on the consumerism of the holiday and the fake Christmas sincerity. It's a great movie to watch when you're frustrated with red tape or if you want to see Robert De Niro as a rebel air-conditioning specialist.
2) Eyes Wide Shut (1999) Holidays can make couples act a little crazy; they can even cause some of us to dabble in some extra-marital orgy action. Eyes Wide Shut is a sexually-charged thriller that was Stanley Kubrick's final film before he passed away. Even though the subject matter seems far away from the jolly holiday, you'll spot a Christmas decoration in almost every scene; the movie also captures the alienating feelings some people have during season. It was made in a simpler time when we thought Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise made the perfect couple.
1) Die Hard (1987) Die Hard introduces us to an unlikely Christmas hero: John McClane as he tries to defeat that real-life Grinch, Hans Gruber. All John wants to do is deliver a giant stuffed bear to his kids, but instead he has to save the Nakatomi Corporation from destruction, all while barefoot. Even while battling a hair-band look-alike team of cronies, McClane -- played by Bruce Willis -- still musters up some Christmas spirit. In one scene, he sends Gruber a present in the form of one of his dead minions in a Christmas hat wearing the sign, "Now I have a machine gun. Ho-Ho-Ho."
Follow Amanda Moutinho on Twitter at @amandamoutinho.
Get the Arts & Culture Newsletter
Find out about upcoming performances, exhibitions, openings and special events happening in the Denver art and theater scene.