For all those who thought fanny packs were the second-best thing since the dancing baby on Ally McBeal comes a revolutionary way to walk your dog, and all it will cost you is every shred of your dignity. It's the Waist Waggy Walker, from Denver-based inventor Jill Burkardt, and it is destined to make you look exactly as dumb as its name suggests. She hasn't found anyone to manufacture it yet, but we're hoping somebody picks it up quick -- in the meantime, millions of people with perms and teeth that don't quite seem to fit into their mouths right will be forced, tragically, to walk their dogs the normal way.
From the press release:
An innovative and highly functional new product sure to catch the eye of dog owners the world over, the Waist Waggy Walker, has been developed by Jill Burkhardt of Denver, Colorado. The invention's unique design provides its users with a considerably convenient and strain-free method of walking their dog.
The Waist Waggy Walker will insure [sic] that the dog walking experience is much less physically demanding on the individual as opposed to walks conducted with conventional leashes. It will make exercise enjoyable for both pet and owner, will provide adequate back support to the user, and will feature several other amenities of convenience that will render it additionally appealing. With its wider array of redeeming qualities, the Waist Waggy Walker should have no trouble finding success through outlets and catalogs selling pet accessories.
The PR goes on to explain that "There will be no product photos, prototypes or graphic illustrations of the design made available to the media until a licensing agreement and/or patent protection has been secured," but based on the name and the description of it -- specifically, that it will "provide adequate back support to the user" -- we feel confident enough to venture a guess:
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Look out, world. You haven't seen anything like this since the glow-in-the-dark toilet seat.