We are the Night is this week's most ridiculous trailer

It's a telling fact about We are the Night that about forty other things just from the last five years share its name (it's at 2007 movie starring Joaquin Phoenix, for example, and also a Chemical Brothers album) -- from its premise right down to its title, there is absolutely...

By Jef Otte

May 27, 2011

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It's a telling fact about We are the Night that about forty other things just from the last five years share its name (it's at 2007 movie starring Joaquin Phoenix, for example, and also a Chemical Brothers album) -- from its premise right down to its title, there is absolutely nothing novel about this movie. Hard-partying, high-society vampires caught up in a sexy drama of lust, bloodlust and revenge, you say? So it's pretty much like True Blood, but not in the south. Or maybe any one of the Blade series, but not with Wesley Snipes. Or more or less like anything by Anne Rice. Well okay, no need to see this, then.

Of any of the scary-monster genres, vampire flicks have got to be the most tired at this point -- even zombie flicks are generally self-aware enough to put some kind of new spin on things anymore. Maybe vampires are just naturally marketable enough to be boring.

Whatever the case, they're pretty much soap opera characters that only go out at night, are immortal and feed on the blood of humans -- none of which are very far off from your general soap opera conceits anyway -- they're petty, promiscuous and attractive, and they've got a penchant for betrayal. Voilà: The Young and the Restless who are also Vampires: Black Fingernail Polish Edition. And can we make sure all the dialog is rendered strictly in monotone? Because vampires are not only boring, they are also very bored.

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