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  • 2009 - Society of Professional Journalists/Colorado Chapter, published March 6, 2008

    "Stand and Deliver"

  • 2009 - Best of the West/First Amendment Funding, Inc., published June 19, 2008

    "Curtain Call"

  • 2009 - National Council on Crime and Delinquency/Prevention for a Safer Society Award, published March 6, 2008

    "Stand and Deliver"

  • 2008 - Maggies: The Magazine Awards of Western Publishing, published April 5, 2007

    "An Uphill Battle"

  • 2007 - James Beard Journalism Awards/The James Beard Foundation, published December 21, 2006

    "Life of the Party"

  • 2006 - Bert Greene Award/International Association of Culinary Professionals, published January 27, 2005

    "Word of Mouth"

2008 Stories by Adam Cayton-Holland

Archives: 2009 | 2008 | 2007 | 2006 | 2005 | 2004 | 2003
  • Barry Fresh

    published July 10, 2008

    If you don’t know who Todd Barry is, you should. The twenty-year comedy vet has performed all over the world, honing a dry, deadpan... More >>

  • Green Machine

    published July 3, 2008

    I remember a time when this city was actually manly, when big, bloated hombres wore mustaches and didn't take shit off anybody. Beef was always... More >>

  • Duck and Cover

    published June 26, 2008

    During major international soccer tournaments, my friend Darren and I are in almost constant contact. We're either watching games together or... More >>

  • Take Your Dog to Work!

    published June 19, 2008

    Clear Creek Annabel Lee, my purebred Chessie she-bitch, has successfully graduated from puppy kindergarten. Please feel free to express your... More >>

  • Curtain Call

    published June 19, 2008

    Dear Book Person, Ask any gifted, but not talented sixth-grader what Vincent Van Gogh did. "He cut off his ear and sold one... More >>

  • Aged Gracefully

    published June 12, 2008

    Everyone knows that 27 is the rock-star death year. Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison — they all died at that very young age.... More >>

  • Insomnia's Not So Funny

    published June 5, 2008

    Sunday nights are bad for me. Maybe it's because I stay out till God knows when on Fridays and Saturdays chasing after God knows what. Or maybe... More >>

  • Turn Up the Mike!

    published May 29, 2008

    I was up on stage, midway through some new routine that I would probably never use again, floundering, when a man walked off of Colfax and... More >>

  • What's So Funny's Kopelgänger

    published May 22, 2008

    This past Saturday, a column appeared in the Rocky Mountain News under the headline "At 'Westword,' the sh— must go on." The piece... More >>

  • Going, Going, Gone

    published May 22, 2008

    Jessica Young can remember the exact moment when politics infiltrated what was until then her exclusively biological viewpoint regarding the... More >>

  • Taco Bell Giveaway a Dinger

    published May 15, 2008

    I wanted to get above thirty. Thirty sounded respectable: the number of days in June, the number of minutes it's safe to stare at Rachael Ray... More >>

  • Sporting Chance

    published May 8, 2008

    I was scrolling through my DVR listings last week, dutifully recording Top Chef and Escape to Chimp Eden — yes, I know I... More >>

  • Cease and Desist, Denver Police

    published May 1, 2008

    While most people lament their fate when they find themselves seated in a cubicle, typing away while surrounded by others doing the exact same... More >>

  • FutboLucha

    published May 1, 2008

    Truth be told, El Hijo del Santo probably could have ridden comfortably on his father's coattails. The son of legendary professional wrestler and... More >>

  • Put Me In, Coach

    published April 24, 2008

    I don't really care for many of my friends, so generally I do not support their extracurriculars. Oh, I'll pretend to stand behind them. I'll... More >>

  • Sauced on Sunday Suds Sales

    published April 17, 2008

    Not long ago, this country was a diverse place. In Beat America, that fabled land of adventure and intrigue, all you needed was a hitchhiking... More >>

  • Missionary Position

    published April 10, 2008

    I was standing on line, as the Yankees say, watching a situation escalate in a bodega on the Upper West Side. A large Indian man,... More >>

  • Inviting Hickenlooper to Break Bread

    published April 3, 2008

    Hickenlooper, buddy, what's going on? It's your old pal Adam Cayton-Holland. Yes, the same Adam Cayton-Holland who grew up in Park Hill. Hey,... More >>

  • Pup Talk

    published March 20, 2008

    After recently donning a freshly laundered pair of pants, I plunged my hands into my pockets, as all men are wont to do when cloaking their... More >>

  • Hope for the Colorado Rockies Springs Eternal

    published March 13, 2008

    Matt Holliday is sick to death of being asked if he was really safe. "I get tired of hearing people talk about whether I touched the... More >>

  • Justice High Puts Students in the Courtroom

    published March 6, 2008

    T.J. Cole refers to them as To Sir, With Love moments, a reference to the 1967 Sidney Poitier film in which the actor plays a rookie... More >>

  • Con Artist Gives Funny Cause for Pregnant Pause

    published February 28, 2008

    White guilt is a funny thing. On the one hand, it can inspire you to altruistic heights as you plant bulbs in the community garden, tutor... More >>

  • Superdelegate to Rescue Obama

    published February 21, 2008

    I was recently fortunate enough to travel to Tanzania with my family. Our first morning there, we were loading our bags into a Jeep when a man... More >>

  • Funny Takes a Lesson From a Professional Pick-Up Artist

    published February 14, 2008

    On one of my favorite television shows, Friday Night Lights, there's a character named Tim Riggins who's an all-around stud. He has his... More >>

  • Out of the Blue

    published February 14, 2008

    Waiting for a plane in Seattle, sounding hurried and harried as a final boarding call echoes in the near distance, Josh Blue has this to say about... More >>

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Archives: 2009 | 2008 | 2007 | 2006 | 2005 | 2004 | 2003