Email Author Gregory Weinkauf

2003 Stories by Gregory Weinkauf

• Upper Middle Earth

  published December 18, 2003

  You know how it's often the ones we love whose flaws are most apparent? Well, when it comes to The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the... More >>

• Kitty Litter

  published November 20, 2003

  If you're hankering for a movie about an awkward yet lovable "outsider" type who wanders into a pastel mock-up of Middle America and cajoles the... More >>

• Shakedown Cruise

  published November 13, 2003

  Russell Crowe to his agent: "More Oscar bait. Now." Agent, considering his cut of Crowe's $20 million payday: "Yes, sir." A possible scenario,... More >>

• Fleshed Out

  published October 30, 2003

  Remember that silly little-girl version of Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally... snuffling "I'm difficult!" through a charming tantrum? Well,... More >>

• Love Among the Ruins

  published October 23, 2003

  Sometimes something so wonderful appears on the big screen that I want to leap up like a shameless non-professional and hug it. Such is the case... More >>

• Saint Veronica

  published October 16, 2003

  Before you crack your wallet for Veronica Guerin, you'd be well off to rent a video of the 2000 release When the Sky Falls... More >>

• Heading South

  published October 2, 2003

  It seems like everybody's raving up Mexican cinema these days -- either as a merit badge of self-conscious hipness or because the stuff is... More >>

• Greetings to the New Brunette

  published September 25, 2003

  Recently, ornithologists in Antarctica made a startling discovery: Female emperor penguins, being forced against their wills to endure stern... More >>

• Shredheads

  published August 21, 2003

  Deck. Wheels. Attitude. This is the stuff of Grind, a new comedy about skateboarding and its effects on the human psyche. Neither... More >>

• Le Fromage

  published August 14, 2003

  Ah, Paris: City of Light, of Love, of Liver Damage and Lung Cancer. C'est formidable, non? Who in need of a posh vacation would turn down... More >>

• Reduced-Salt Dogs

  published July 10, 2003

  To prepare for reviewing Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, I did the obvious research: I watched... More >>

• Robotic Sequel

  published July 3, 2003

  Much like "hilarious Islamic comedy" or "sublime Affleck picture," the term "terrific second sequel" isn't bandied about very much. Name one. Took... More >>

• The Young Girl and the Sea

  published June 26, 2003

  Once in a while, a film comes along that is as sound, smart, sweet and significant as can be, and Whale Rider is such a film. Fault... More >>

• Brain Freeze

  published June 12, 2003

  There is a new movie out. It is called Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd. It is a prequel to the 1994 movie by Peter and Bobby... More >>

• Violent Femmes

  published May 1, 2003

  At some fast-approaching point in pop-culture evolution, we're due to hit Total Outsider Saturation, wherein everybody is an outsider and... More >>

• Not a Gas

  published April 17, 2003

  I'll just admit this up front: My ideal concept of musical comedy involves Bryan Adams and Dave Matthews garroting each other on stage with their... More >>

• The French Conniption

  published April 10, 2003

  Imagine a large, dead Saint Bernard with its bones removed. Then visualize a hefty bellows inserted into it from behind with a gorilla hopping up... More >>

• Sorrow's Child

  published March 13, 2003

  Being of the minority who did not worship Schindler's List (vital message, tedious movie), it's easy to feel skeptical of the preachy... More >>

• SEAL Appeal

  published March 6, 2003

  John Shaft went to Africa, so why shouldn't Die Hard's John McClane? In the new action romp Tears of the Sun, Bruce Willis... More >>

• River of Dreams

  published March 6, 2003

  Emerging from Till Human Voices Wake Us, it was easy to overhear some male viewers striving adamantly to put the film's metaphysical... More >>

• French Kiss-Off

  published February 27, 2003

  Apart from "I Am Fascinating" and/or "My Parents Are Horrid," the reigning theme of film students' movies is "Lovers Are Bonkers." Thus, it comes... More >>

• Sour Hours

  published January 16, 2003

  It all begins with the word. "I believe I may have a first sentence," murmurs Virginia Woolf (Nicole Kidman -- yes, really) to her husband,... More >>

• Shining Story, Wooden Nickleby

  published January 9, 2003

  Those who seek a polar opposite to Michael Caine's kind-but-firm patriarch Dr. Wilbur Larch in The Cider House Rules will find it in Jim... More >>