Email Author Jef Otte

2012 Stories by Jef Otte

• Have you seen Molly? She's been everywhere lately.

  published April 5, 2012

  Back in the days when you didn't even know where the party was until the night of — at which point you had to call an automated recording... More >>

• Grandma Goth, a doc about Flossy McGrew's Suelynn Gustafson, opens April 9

  published April 5, 2012

  Suelynn Gustafson was doing goth before it was cool. In fact, Suelynn Gustafson was doing goth about five decades before anyone even thought to... More >>

• Goodwill's Deja Blue boutique is like the mall, but cheaper and with less stuff

  published Mar 26, 2012

  The basic Goodwill business model -- which relies on people cramming a bunch of garbage bags full of random shit they don't want anymore and giving it to Goodwill to sort and sell for cheap -- offers ... More >>

• Is there anything Gene Simmons won't exploit?

  published March 22, 2012

  Last time I went to Vegas, I saw the void, and it was Circus Circus. The epiphany I experienced there, next to a mulleted dad explaining to his... More >>

• We Are the Champions

  published March 8, 2012

  There isn't really a prize, at least in the traditional sense, for winning the Comedy Works Funny Final Four, a competition that pits four... More >>

• An e-mail prank preys on Tyrese's good nature

  published March 15, 2012

  Since even before Boyz II Men implored us to not wait until the water runs dry — which, obviously, would have been the biggest mistake of... More >>

• Cash Money signed Limp Bizkit last week. No, really.

  published March 8, 2012

  For every argument that Wes Borland is an innovative guitarist or that Limp Bizkit had some songs that weren't that awful, there's the... More >>

• Take the Middle Passage

  published February 16, 2012

  During the slave trade, a ship's route typically consisted of three legs: from Europe to Africa to trade goods for kidnapped Africans, from Africa... More >>

• Dave Mustaine isn't gay, he's Christian

  published March 1, 2012

  A long time ago, back in ancient Judea, there was a group of sanctimonious turds called Pharisees whose mission, as the moral authority, was to... More >>

• After Whitney died, pundits got out the soapboxes in record time

  published February 23, 2012

  From a medical standpoint, it wasn't immediately clear what caused Whitney Houston's untimely death at the age of 49 in her room at the... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  Heart attack at the Heart Attack Grill and five ironic food-related deaths

  published Feb 17, 2012

  The good news for the guy who suffered a heart attack while eating a Triple Bypass Burger at the Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas is that the restaurant's gimmick -- besides the insanely mega-calorie m... More >>

• Johnny Cash's covers album has the gravity that Paul McCartney's doesn't

  published February 16, 2012

  In the theological canon, there's probably no sect quite as unwaveringly dour as Calvinism. Predicated mostly on the idea that human beings are... More >>

• This Valentine's Day, get your boo a $10,000 Pizza Hut-themed marriage proposal. Seriously.

  published Feb 10, 2012

  Valentine's Day is just around the corner, and if you're anything like me, that means you're thinking about Pizza Hut's $10 Dinner Box promotion. You say you're not thinking about Pizza Hut's $10 Dinn... More >>

• Bon Iver's Grammy nomination doesn't change the Grammys

  published February 9, 2012

  Unless there's some kind of cruel Carrie-style joke going on, every high-school kid pretty much knows what to expect from the senior... More >>

• Super Bowl XLVI: Five pop-culture predictions for the coming year

  published Feb 06, 2012

  Calender-wise, every year starts at the beginning of January. But when it comes to pop-culture, the year "kicks off" (hey-o!) with the advertising blitz (so many football puns!) that is the Super Bowl... More >>

• The best jokes, by comedian, of Comedy Works' Funny Final Four

  published Feb 02, 2012

  It opened with a differently-abled World of Warcraft avatar and ended with fat-kid pedophilia, and there was an impressive amount of homeless people in between. Needless to say, then, the Funny Final ... More >>

• @nickelback's interaction with its haters makes me respect Nickelback...sort of

  published February 2, 2012

  In grossly oversimplified terms, here's how semiotics works: A unit of language is known as a "signifier," and it functions as a symbol for the... More >>

• Lana Del Rey is both hipster and poseur

  published January 26, 2012

  Point of fact: I am a hipster and a poseur. Initially, I was skeptical. True, I wear tight pants, ride a fixed-gear bicycle and listen to a lot... More >>

• Denver author Ryan Moehring's Fried Twinkie Manifesto makes the Amazon top ten

  published Jan 24, 2012

  The Fried Twinkie Manifesto was never expected to hit the big-time. Its author, Denver local Ryan Moehring, wrote it in his spare time (concurrently holding down a day-job as a government employee), f... More >>

• What was Justin Timberlake thinking with MySpace TV?

  published January 19, 2012

  A couple of years ago, as part of my mom's ongoing quest to relieve her basement of all the shit that spontaneously piles up because she might... More >>

• Imagine that: John Lennon fans turn into zealots over Cee Lo's change in lyrics

  published January 12, 2012

  There's a subversive genius at work beneath the surface of John Lennon's "Imagine." At first glance, it's an instantly approachable bit... More >>

• Music fan's "Drake" tattoo takes celebrity worship to a new level

  published January 5, 2012

  When crazy people do crazy things — especially if those crazy things are violent or harmful — there is an unfortunate tendency to... More >>