Email Author Patrick Osborn

2003 Stories by Patrick Osborn

• Drunk of the Week

  published December 25, 2003

  Merry Christmas. Only 24 hours left until some of you (all women) can run out to catch all those post-holiday steals. You'll say you're going so... More >>

• Drunk of the Week

  published December 18, 2003

  Knowing what I know now, I would never have voted for the sweeping change in attitude embodied by John Hickenlooper's administration. While I... More >>

• Drunk of the Week

  published December 11, 2003

  To any of you who were present at the Stout Pub (2052 Stout Street) the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, I want to apologize on behalf of our... More >>

• Drunk of the Week

  published December 4, 2003

  Apparently the only Ted-free place in town is Denver International Airport. These days, you can't turn on the television or open the paper without... More >>

• Drunk of the Week

  published November 27, 2003

  Let's have a show of hands: Who did something this past weekend that he or she regrets? Okay, me too. But despite my being "overserved" by... More >>

• Drunk of the Week

  published November 20, 2003

  The new SAT is the final step in the coddling of America's children, which is ruining society. It started with allowing snowboarders at Vail and... More >>

• Drunk of the Week

  published November 13, 2003

  Now that Halloween is over, I'm sure you're counting the days left during which every Target, Barnes & Noble and Best Buy will be filled with a... More >>

• Drunk of the Week

  published November 6, 2003

  I didn't get out last weekend, and I doubt that you did, either, because we are apparently under biological attack. I don't know for sure where... More >>

• Drunk of the Week

  published October 30, 2003

  In our continuing effort to improve the human race, we here at the Institute for Drinking Studies are eager to answer those questions that all of... More >>

• Drunk of the Week

  published October 23, 2003

  When purchasing a home, you must consider many points. The location needs to be somewhere you'll feel safe -- and must also have good resale... More >>

• Drunk of the Week

  published October 16, 2003

  Sitting at the Bull & Bush (4700 Cherry Creek Drive South) with several friends and co-workers, I indulged in my favorite stress-relieving... More >>

• Drunk of the Week

  published October 9, 2003

  As if feeling like I had been hit by a Mack truck wasn't bad enough, I had to wait for coffee on Sunday morning. I am not a patient guy by nature,... More >>

• Drunk of the Week

  published October 2, 2003

  Thanks to too many beers, I have once again made a major breakthrough in the field of human sociology. And it was the Purple Martini (1336... More >>

• Drunk of the Week

  published September 25, 2003

  As I bellied up to the bar at LoDo's Bar and Grill (1946 Market Street), I turned to my buddy and said, "I couldn't be happier right now."... More >>

• Drunk of the Week

  published September 18, 2003

  A woman can convince herself she's in love in a matter of minutes. But only a guy who's drunk can convince himself he's in love in a matter of... More >>

• Drunk of the Week

  published September 11, 2003

  After a few beers, guys are capable of solving all the world's problems, performing feats of superhuman strength and experiencing Zen-like... More >>

• Drunk of the Week

  published August 28, 2003

  The crucial question of the morning: Does anybody remember how I cut my hand? I, unfortunately, have no idea -- because last night, we... More >>

• Drunk of the Week

  published August 14, 2003

  Sometimes it's good to be a doctor. The other night in LoDo, for example, when those tens of thousands of dollars in tuition debt came in handy... More >>

• Drunk of the Week

  published July 31, 2003

  If you're going to stick with the maxim "Liquor then beer, never fear," there are few better places to get stuck than at Las Margaritas.... More >>

• Summer in the City

  published June 12, 2003

  There's no question about it. Temperatures are in the 80s. The days are longer. School is out. Inappropriate spandex is everywhere at Washington... More >>

• Date-a-Thon

  published May 29, 2003

  These days, when I'm not working, spending time with my daughter or drinking beer, I mainly look forward to the new Harry Potter book. I... More >>