Simon Abrams

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  • The makers of The Lazarus Effect, an uninspired horror film about modern-day mad scientists, do nothing noteworthy with their heady what-if premise: What do you see right before you die, and what would happen if you came back from the...

  • Jeff Bridges's abysmally campy performance may be the worst thing about disposable sword-and-sorcery fantasy Seventh Son, but it's also the only memorable thing. Bridges struggles to enliven a rote hero's-quest plot -- skeptical...

  • The makers of Project Almanac, a ponderous found-footage time-travel drama, tellingly waste 40 minutes cataloging banal uses for time travel before establishing their film's generic main conflict: What if going back in time causes more...

  • It's hard to know exactly when The Loft, a disposable locked-room mystery about five yuppies who discover a corpse in their shared extramarital fuck-pad, decides to forgive its dickish main characters. Until the anticlimactic finale, the...

  • Flawed but genuinely creepy ghost story The Woman in Black 2: Angel of Death is disappointing, but only because it comes close to greatness. Director Tom Harper and screenwriters Jon Croker and Susan Hill take great pains to get inside the...

  • The Pyramid, a slasher film set in a previously undiscovered pharaoh's tomb, is exclusively populated by whiny narcissists, like fame-hungry reporter Sunni (Christa Nicola) and stuffy know-it-all Holden (American Horror Story's...