Best Mayoral Proclamation (2002)
Maggiano's Millionth-Meatball Day
May 10, 2001
It was enough to give you a very bad case of indigestion: There was Denver's mayor, Wellington Webb, performing meatball surgery at Maggiano's, a restaurant in the Denver Pavilions whose home base is in Chicago -- the city that had just stolen Boeing's new headquarters from us. But Webb, our biggest meatball, continued to pour on the sauce: "I offer thanks and congratulations to Maggiano's for their millionth meatball, and best wishes for a million more meatballs!" Yeah, and how about a million more peculiar proclamations -- Bill Stuart Day! Sister Ignatius Day! -- which the mayor's office spews out like an endless strand of spaghetti confetti.