Best Denver Insult (2007)

Dave Barry

It's an honor to be savaged by someone as talented as Dave Barry -- and when Congressman Tom Tancredo called Miami a Third World country, he might as well have put a "kick me" sign on Denver's back. In honor of the Super Bowl arriving in Miami, Floridian Barry wrote a column welcoming visitors and offering this: "Miami is also a world-class party city, which is why the Super Bowl is being held here for a record-tying ninth time. Compare that with -- to pick a city at random -- Denver, which has been selected to host the Super Bowl a total of let's see, the 60s, nope, the 70s, nope, the 80s, nope, the 90s, nope, the 2000s, nope.... Gosh, it seems that Denver has NEVER, not one single time in over four decades, been selected to host the Super Bowl. I'm sure there's a good reason for this, such as that the Denver area has too few hotel rooms, or too many xenophobic dimwits representing it in Congress."

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