Best incentive to get the kids to clean the house - 2000
It's been said that life's only truly worthwhile pursuit is tidying the house. Sadly, it's nearly impossible to convince children to participate in the joy without having to reward them with some costly bauble that only adds to the clutter. Never again. Family rooms, backyards and garages will sparkle if kids are promised a trip to the dump at labor's end. What is it about the dump (sorry -- landfill!) that they love so much? For starters, the landfill at 88th Avenue and Tower Road is a reeking mountain of trash. Oh, sure, they'll say they hate the smell, but they can barely hide their glee at inhaling each vile whiff. The drive-up Garbage Mountain affords fantastic views of the Front Range while jets arriving and departing from DIA hang noisily overhead. Frequent charges are blasted to scare away birds. En route to the dropoff point, community-service convicts pick grocery bags off fences, but the thrill of consorting with criminals passes as soon as kids see the wall of garbage. Huge city dump trucks unload dripping bales of nobody's business overhead, while pickup trucks, vans and trailers are emptied of yesterday's news at the base. Dangerous? You bet! But BFI doesn't allow anyone to wander five feet from their vehicle. Kodak moments? Aplenty! There's nothing like the look of a kid watching a sofa mashed into the muck by a bulldozer bigger than a house. But sadly, cameras are forbidden. The experience must live on in memories and the promise of another spring cleaning.