Best Candidate to Replace Gary Barnett - 2005
Vodka rocks? Hooker in the hotel room? Little weed? Hey, while they're at it, why don't the mooks in the University of Colorado athletic department lay something really special on their football recruits: A pep talk from Professor Ward "Sacred Buffalo" Churchill. Instead of explaining X's and O's (or even court orders to appear before the grand jury), Coach Churchill could stress the value of crisp downfield blocking against the U.S. Justice Department and the importance of listening to everything quarterback Osama bin Laden says in the CU huddle. Go, Buffs! Beat Eichmann State!