Hallo Lisbeth and Skip,
This is a letter from Asia, a Ukrainian student who stayed in Colorado in 1999. I bombed your Skip with love letters afterwards. What I want now is not to apologise, but to write about feelings I really had then, and about the way I feel now about what I did then.When I fell in love, or rather, when I thought I fell in love with Skip, I was in a state of despair. I felt noone needed me, with my sixteen years, with my numerous talents and even more numerous teenage problems. And, which is worse, I did not need myself. Fixed on my extraordinary personality, I had no slightest interest in my own life. I felt I had no reasons to live further.\"Falling-in-love-with-Skip\" was not a feeling. It was a game I invented, an attempt to fill my own emptiness. I was trying to entertain myself, to forget about pain I really had. I felt I had no reason to live further and I was trying to invent such reason. Playing this game, I used the feelings you and Skip really had to our group from Kyiv.I felt I could hurt you and that it was very unpleasant. I chose not to realise it.I do not feel guilty now. I only have the regret that I lost my chance for a real friendship with you, the connection which can break in our lives but always remains in our hearts.I do ask for forgiveness, I just want to be heard. Please, do not forget me.
Asia
