Never mind that this restaurant has great food. When it comes to dumping a date, it's all about location, location, location. And the subterranean pork palace known as Osteria Marco is just the spot to ditch someone. Why? Because at one end of the room is a staircase leading to street level, and tucked off to the side are the bathrooms. So here's how you do it: Drop the let's-just-be-friends bomb, wait for your now-former significant other to excuse him or herself and go off to cry in the bathroom. Then make a dash for the stairs. Within thirty seconds, you'll be up and out, lost in the Larimer Square street traffic. True, you'll be running out on the check, but after what he/she did to you that warranted such a harsh, public dumping in the first place, doesn't he/she deserve to get stuck with the bill?