Looking for Larry

Ever since news broke last fall that Senator Larry Craig had not limited his wide-stance activities to the Minneapolis airport, but had also tried his luck at Denver International Airport, an intrepid Demver correspondent -- we'll call him Mr. seX -- has been scouting the bathrooms at DIA looking for...

By Patricia Calhoun

March 13, 2008

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Ever since news broke last fall that Senator Larry Craig had not limited his wide-stance activities to the Minneapolis airport, but had also tried his luck at Denver International Airport, an intrepid Demver correspondent -- we'll call him Mr. seX -- has been scouting the bathrooms at DIA looking for a newsflush.

Here's the account he filed today:

Reporting live from stall number 3 in the men's restroom on the B concourse at DIA. I am observing a pair of black men's dress shoes in the stall next to me...and the shoe is lightly tapping. Upon further observation, underneath the sole of the shoe I see what appears to be potato product. And then I think to myself..."What state is best known for potatoes?" The answer, of course, is Idaho.

Senator Craig must have been at an Idaho potato processing plant (making a political speech) before catching a plane to Denver. I am now exiting the stall and READY to make a citizen's arrest! Whoooosh...(I hear the toilet flush, zipper go up, door unlatch, and the stall door slowly opens.) You're going to be sorry, Larry!

Oops... It's a line cook from "The Great Steak Escape" who obviously runs the deep fryer. No other activity to report.

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Patricia Calhoun is editor-in-chief of Westword, the alt-weekly she co-founded in September 1977. She’s been inducted into the Colorado Press Association Hall of Fame, the Association of Alternative Newsmedia Hall of Fame and the Colorado Restaurant Association Hall of Fame. She’s also received dozens of local, state and national awards for writing, including first place for feature writing and first place for column writing with the Society of Professional Journalists. Patricia is a weekly commentator on Colorado Inside Out, PBS 12's public affairs roundtable, which has won two Emmys.

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