July 4th patriotic special report: Yard art exhibits boundary issues

Yard Arteology: The study of neighbors through lawn decoration. As lovers of country, patriots need to establish clear boundaries. For them, a good fence helps to separate who they are and what they love from the harsh realities of the outside world. From chain-link bunting to split-rail pinups, a thorough survey of Denver neighborhoods shows that patriotic yard artists know their limits and primarily use Americana to pimp their fences... Figure 68a. University: Uncle Sam waters the bushes. Clearly the yard artist who created the Uncle Sam silhouette seen in the photo above has a keen sense of humor. The pose of the figure and his placement on the outside of the fence suggests that Uncle Sam prefers to urinate on other people's property. Figure 68b. Goldsmith: Fifty stars and eight stripes suggests Attention Deficit Disorder. It has to be ADD -- because what else could explain the meticulous stars and slap-dash bars of the Old Glory painted on the fence in the picture above? The lack of attention to detail in the stripes indicates that this yard artist lost interest in the project after fussing over the precise rendering of the size and placement of the stars. Or perhaps it hints that the yard artist has a dislike for New Hampshire, Virginia, New York, North Carolina and Rhode Island -- the last five of the original thirteen colonies.

Next page: Choosing between chain-link and split-rail for chatty guys and chesty gals...

Figure 68c. City Park West: Patriot's chain-link freedom dream fence. Perhaps nothing intimates the curious integration of freedom and fencing more than the home pictured above. Attached to the chain-link between each fence post, this patriotic yard artist has hand-lettered poster board of the famous freedom speeches of Presidents Abraham Lincoln, John F. Kennedy, Barack Obama and the Reverend Martin Luther King Jr. Figure 68d. Westwood: Split-rail pinup blows a smoking gun. Even when the yard art is decorating a porch railing, as captured in the photo above, it still takes the theme of a fence in its design. Here the yard artist hints that even the prettiest of patriots still need to protect their property.

Next page: Ugly patriots warn not to mess with Texas...

Figure 66e. Cheesman: Texans don't play well with others. And, talk about boundary issues! The Texas Longhorn sticker at the top of the back window proves that this is a patriot's truck and it belongs to a Texan. The "God Bless America" tailgate stickers, combined with the "Warning!! Don't Play Well With Others" sign suggests that: Texan + U.S. = Texanus