Loosies has a bevy of colorful character actors — from Michael Madsen and William Forsythe to Vincent Gallo and Joe Pantoliano — but little character. The story of a pickpocket named Bobby (Peter Facinelli, also credited with the ungainly script) whose criminal career is complicated by the reappearance of former flame Lucy (Jaimie Alexander), now pregnant with his kid, Michael Corrente's film is a mush of poses. The director's saga revels in cornball romance, imitation tough-guy attitude and awkward flashbacks, none more ridiculous than one in which Bobby twirls a beaming Lucy around like a ballerina before screwing her. Bobby is a hood with a heart of gold, having been forced to assume his profession to atone for his father's sins, and his dueling predicaments — regarding Lucy's pregnancy/abortion and a stolen police badge that has him in hot water — feature a predictable lack of tension. Although Facinelli and Alexander share little chemistry, Madsen and Forsythe have an amusingly low-key, near-silent rapport in their two brief scenes together as surly cops. If there's any verve in this rote good-guy-makes-good tale, however, it comes courtesy of Gallo, who provides some gnarly craziness as a crook prone to practicing karate while decked out in only a ratty bathrobe.
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