As our resident Stoner, Herbert Fuego reviews a different strain every week, taking you on a journey through past and present smoking experiences and documenting what you can expect when you try some of the best strains out there. Here's a list of favorites — not Fuego's (although the descriptions are his), but yours: These are the most popular strain profiles published in 2016. You're sure to see some old friends on this list, and it might inspire you to make some new ones.
1. Gorilla Glue
A strain that took its name from the famous adhesive should have the same brute power, and Gorilla Glue (the strain) definitely does. Its family lineage is basically a soda-fountain suicide concoction: A Chemdawg phenotype, Sour Dubb and Chocolate Diesel came together for a three-way that birthed some of the best trichome-producing buds on the planet.
As with Blue Dream, however, the effects of Gorilla Glue can vary — but at least this strain has a number attached to it. Gorilla Glue #1 is an indica-dominant phenotype of the plant, great for sleep, pain and very heavy relaxation. Sativa-dominant Gorilla Glue #4 is much more readily available throughout pot shops and basements, but don’t let the word “sativa” fool you: Gorilla Glue #4’s THC levels regularly test over 20 percent if grown correctly, so those with a low tolerance can still get zooted after just one or two hits.
2. Girl Scout Cookies
Girl Scout Cookies’ genetics comprise Durban Poison and OG Kush — a genius combination that makes you think, “What the fuck took so long?” Rooted in the Bay Area, the Cookies didn’t take long to cross over into Arizona, Washington, Colorado and so on. The West Coast might’ve gotten a jump start on the strain, but it’s now blown up across America. The first two results of a Google search of the term “Girl Scout Cookies” nets references to the Girl Scouts of America, but guess what number three is? The Leafly page for the Girl Scout Cookies strain.
3. Strawberry Cough
It would be unfair to pigeonhole Strawberry Cough as just a sentimental strain fueled by nostalgic effects, because if it’s grown and cured correctly, it’s one of the most delicious strains out there. Unfortunately, it’s all too often overlooked, which shows just how spoiled we’ve become.
4. Cherry Lime Haze
Although it won an award at the Emerald Cup in California, Cherry Lime Haze isn’t the most widely recognized strain around town — but it’s definitely one worth adding to the library, especially for daytime smokers. The sativa-dominant hybrid hails from unknown origins, like a mysterious Russian fighter that so many of our ’80s heroes had to face, but unlike Ivan Drago, Cherry Lime Haze won’t knock you out. A cross of Haze, Cherry Pie and an unknown strain, this delicious cup of tea will gently wake you up in the morning and leave you with most of your wits.
Also known as Larry Bird in some circles, this Bay Area strain is a transplant that Colorado natives might actually want here, bred with Thin Mint Girl Scout Cookies and Sunset Sherbet genetics for a silky but debilitating high. It’s also a fox in the looks department: My roommates thought my buds were wet because of the way the dark, purple buds and oily resin glands contrasted with each other in the afternoon light — or maybe they were just that thirsty to smoke it. Lucky for them, I shared the wealth.
Keep reading for five more strains that Colorado tokers loved in 2016.