45 Second Reviews: Blind Pilot, Hit the Lights, Killer Mike, the Maine

Blind Pilot 3 Rounds and a Sound Expunged Records

01:00-01:45 of “The Story I Heard”: “The Story I Heard” proves that the only difference between some indie-rock and commercial pop music is the fact that the indie bands just don’t get signed quick enough. This is the same crap that Coldplay churns out year after year – the big difference here is that no one gives a shit about Blind Pilot.

Hit the Lights Skip School, Start Fights Triple Crown Records

00:00-00:45 of “Count It!”: The beginning seconds of “Count It” quickly reveal that the boys in Hit the Lights had access to some sweet Garageband-like licks – with a piano tapping along at the caliber of a one-armed fourteen-year-old with ADD. Suddenly some reverb-drenched drums chime in as the singer croon’s along with that voice that is so unmistakably “pop-punk band” that even the cutest of 'tween’s isn’t going to be able to distinguish this from the rest.

Killer Mike I Pledge Allegiance to the Grind II Grind Time Records

02:00-02:45 of “Big Money, Big Cars”: Just once I’d like to be surprised by one of these poorly Photoshoped rap albums. But this is exactly what you’d expect – boring ass somewhat Southern rap that seems to get lost in its own egocentric ideals for so long that its political and social messages get lost.

The Maine Can’t Stop Won’t Stop Fearless Records

00:00-00:45 of “Girls Do What They Want”: If the album’s title didn’t hint to a piece of crap than the opening lyrics should seal the deal, “Girls do what they want/ whoa whoa/ Boys do what they can.” If that still isn’t enough to curdle your blood than picture a slew of teenagers “blogging” words like “def. best band eva lol,” or “omg these boyz pwn the comp!”

--Thorin Klosowski

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