Elvis's Retirement Bash and 65th Birthday Party, Saturday, January 8, at Dick's Last Resort, celebrates what would have been the King's official entry into his golden years and Social Security eligibility with an evening of food, music and enough pelvic gyrations to steady a space station. Consider the pork chop, mashed potato and jelly doughnut dinner for $9.99, or simply shake, rattle and roll to live Elvis tunes from the Charles King Band. Pros and amateurs alike are encouraged to demonstrate their good rockin' skills in two impersonator contests; the winner in each category will walk away with a prize fatter than Presley in his jumpsuit days. Throughout the evening, Elvis's films will be shown on the many mighty televisions scattered around Dick's -- and though the King himself was known to shoot at his own TV sets, patrons are thoroughly discouraged from doing the same. Admission, ladies and gentlemen, is free. -- Laura Bond
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