Asstastic: 10 album covers celebrating the gluteus maximus inspired by Born This Way
Although physical albums are on their way to being rendered completely useless, there was a time -- believe it or not -- back when telephones still had curly cords, that all recordings were only available in a tangible form. As such, you developed attachments to your favorite records, and yes, it wasn't necessarily because you liked the music -- it was because of the pictures on the front (and even the images on the back, too. Remember feeling weird seeing Rick James getting felt up by a police officer when you flipped over the cover of Street Songs? Okay, maybe that was just us.)
In celebration of album covers living on and in honor of the release of a Twitter photo of Lady Gaga's butt under a jean jacket revealing her latest album, Born This Way, we bring you ten album covers with butts on them. (We thought about including record images with all sorts of body parts, but we figured that no one needed to see the Black Crowes' pube-exposing Amorica ever again in their lives.)
10. As Nasty As They Wanna Be (1989)- 2 Live Crew
The original kings of controversy, 2 Live Crew were writing sex jams for the radio long before Enrique Iglesias was explaining how he was going to nonchalantly F-bomb you. As Nasty wasn't the Dade County dudes' first record, but it was definitely their most famous, including the Full Metal Jacket-sampled "Me So Horny." As you'll see later in this list, Spank Rock saw the power of butt-floss-clad butts and did its best imitation.
9. Grave Dancers Union (1992)- Soul Asylum
This album cover is like a blown-out Anne Geddes photo. We won't do any more sizing up of the butts on it, because they belong to children, and that's weird. But it should be noted that it was the sixth release for Soul Asylum, and the album that brought the band to platinum-record status. We wonder how they felt about kid butts representing such a great achievement.
8. Born in the U.S.A. (1984)- Bruce Springsteen
A classic butt. A subtle butt. A modest butt. It was Bruce Springsteen's butt, captured by none other than Annie Leibovitz's lens. Probably one of the best-known album covers in rock-and-roll history.
7. Everything I Do Gonna Be Funky (1973)- O'Donel Levy
Long before rap records were showcasing butts, jazz guitarist O'Donel Levy did so with his 1973 record. There is something about the exposure of a butt crack on this album that makes the image that much more salacious. Or maybe it's the fact that the left hand's middle and index fingers disappear into the butt's shadow. Total butt eclipse.
6. Bitchin' (2007)- The Donnas
The band's only album to date not featuring all four members on the cover, Bitchin sports a butt that's a throwback to a time when Poison was pretty good and androgyny ruled MTV. Speaking of androgyny, it is interesting that such a sexually charged body part -- when clothed or even sometimes bare -- can be genderless. To whom does this butt belong? That is the eternal butt album cover question.
5. Power (1988)- Ice T
We're kind of cheating with this one, because this is the back of Ice T's 1988 record. But we really like the juxtaposition of all the butts, clothed and unclothed. Plus, his first wife, Darlene Ortiz, makes this cover rule because she brings up the gun-to-butt ratio.
4. Get Lucky (1981)- Loverboy
Again making us question the gender of the butt, the finger-crossing hand is attached to a very hairy arm we can only assume belongs to a dude. In fact, it's that very hairy arm that almost acts as a distraction to the main eye-catcher -- a red-leather-pants-donning butt.
3. Spank Rock and Benny Blanco Are...Bangers & Cash (2007)- Spank RockA reenactment of the famous 2 Live Crew butt stance, Spank Rock steps it up a notch and greases things up. Or is that Saran wrap? No, wait. Maybe it's shellac.
2. Night Work (2010)- Scissor SistersThe Scissor Sisters' third record, Night Work even includes a track called "Skin Tight" -- though this image screams "wedgie." We're not sure if it's the aggressive hands or the clenched cheeks that make this album cover nerve-racking to look at, but either way, we can't stop staring.
1. Is This It (2001)- The Strokes
Later released with different, boring album art, Is This It started out with a cover that was a nice balance of modesty and overt sexuality. The butt's-side view was still too controversial for American retailers, much like the song "New York City Cops," which was also banned from the release stateside. Regardless, this butt might be our favorite. Not to mention the multiple insinuations of the expertly positioned leather glove. Well done, dudes.
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