The Heene family is still doing its best to extend its fifteen minutes as long as possible. The latest effort: A new boy-band featuring all three kids. It's not the first time balloon boy and his brothers have ventured into the world of pop music. Who can forget "Not Pussified"? Yeah, didn't really gain much traction. Maybe this new project will attract more notoriety. We'll see. First, the Heene boys need a name. Here's a few suggestions.
5. Bear Scratcher Because if you itch like a son of a twitch, you might be itching for a new kind of boy-band. Rather, if you're sick of waiting around for the Jonas Brothers to scratch that adorable pop-music itch you've got, consider letting Bear Scratcher, the Heene Brothers new band scratch you anywhere you need it.
4. Hanson Hey, the name Hanson worked once, it might work again. It sure as shit's a better idea than naming the band Heene.
3. Liar Liar Caught in the Telephone Wire For a boy-band to really work, the kids need to be cute, talented and have a name that showcases both. We thought this little ditty up while we were staring at pictures of kittens on the Internet. It doesn't really need any explaining, but it certainly sounds like something your half-deranged and religious aunt would come up with at a holiday dinner before laughing at herself and spitting water all over the table.
2. Daddies Lil' Bastards If you watched the above clip of "Not Pussified," this one makes a bit more sense, but the only real background you need is the fact that the Heene parents are, well, let's just say "very liberal." They also appear to fall into the Insane Clown Posse camp of "kids cursing and talking about shit is funny," which is why we figure they'd probably be really into a stupid name like Daddies Lil' Bastards.
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1. Floater You might need to let this one sink in for a second.
There you go. For more reasoning please see number two.