Black Amex sounds as opulent as its name

The American Express Centurion Card is the ultimate status symbol. Otherwise known as the Black Card, the card is issued on an invitation-only basis -- according to Wikipedia, whose word we're going to have to take because we know precisely zero cardholders -- to the upper echelon of the upper...

By Dave Herrera

April 26, 2013

[
        {
          "name": "Air - MediumRectangle - Inline Content - Mobile Display Size",
          "component": "12017618",
          "insertPoint": "2",
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "2"
        },{
          "name": "Editor Picks",
          "component": "17242653",
          "insertPoint": "4",
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "1"
        },{
          "name": "Inline Links",
          "component": "18838239",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 8,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "7",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Air - MediumRectangle - Combo - Inline Content",
          "component": "17261320",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 8,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "7",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Inline Links",
          "component": "18838239",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 12,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "11",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Air - Leaderboard Tower - Combo - Inline Content",
          "component": "17261321",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 12,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "11",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        }
      ]

The American Express Centurion Card is the ultimate status symbol. Otherwise known as the Black Card, the card is issued on an invitation-only basis -- according to Wikipedia, whose word we're going to have to take because we know precisely zero cardholders -- to the upper echelon of the upper echelon, an exclusive club that, sadly, you and I will never belong to.

I'm a broke hobo who literally can't afford to pay attention, as they say (seriously, motherfuckers, stop calling already -- check's in the mail). I don't qualify for a pre-paid Visa, much less a Black Card. Regardless, that doesn't mean I can't imagine that I'm a well-heeled aristocrat chopping it up with fellow well-heeled aristocrats, blessed to be obscenely wealthy and living in a world where thousand-dollars bills are used for coasters.

I don't know what those people listen to, obviously, but I'll tell you what, if I was balling hardcore like that, I'd be in a cherry CRX... er, I mean, Aston Martin...with a fresh pair of kicks and a new lid for every day of the week -- and this would be my soundtrack.

The decadent sounds Pattrick Collins and Matthew Loui deliver as Black Amex just scream opulence. I can so see myself cruising with the top down, blasting these beats like Sonny Crockett strolling on South Beach. All I need now is an alligator and a yacht. Okay, wrong decade, but this my fantasy, so step off. Feel free to conjure whatever images you want. Just be sure to make sure you've got your Black Amex.

Follow @Westword_Music

KEEP WESTWORD FREE... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we'd like to keep it that way. Your membership allows us to continue offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food, and culture with no paywalls. You can support us by joining as a member for as little as $1.