Ozzy Osbourne
Ozzy Osbourne
Aaron Thackeray

Reader: Ozzy's Coming and Colorado Metal Blows Monkey Balls

Westword hates metal and loves fluff pop like the Fray.

That's according to a reader who claims that new metal bands "blow monkey balls," after we announced that Ozzy Osbourne will be bringing his final tour to Denver this fall. Another reader suggested that we actually send a reporter who likes metal to the concert.

That led to a debate about the quality of Colorado metal bands — which we think are slaying it. Some readers, apparently, disagree. Here's how the conversation went.

Lx writes:

Are we gonna have to read another anti-metal review from Westword? Please send a "reporter" that actually likes the genre.

50 years into this musical genre and we still have to read opinions from someone who is basically repeating the same thing from 5 decades ago about how shallow and uninteresting this music is. They were wrong then and most old metal bands still out sell current bands because we actually play our instruments.

Ronnie weighs in:

Westword likes bands like the Fray, you know, safe, lame fluff pop. They've always propped up average music that makes people feel safe. But have you been out there lately? The few supposed metal bands blow monkey balls. Some of the shittiest vocalists in the world are in Colorado metal bands. And what you consider actually playing an instrument is to others, over-compressed, over-complicated nonsense mixed with triggered drums and weird groaning or growling from a dying animal.

Lx replies:

That's why I stated old metal bands, but you're correct there are always bands that suck. That's not Ozzy's career.

In reality, our team loves metal — especially when it's homegrown. And, yeah, we also love Ozzy. Here are three recent stories about local metal bands — some of which groan like dying animals — a sound that we, unlike Ronnie, embrace.

Reader: Ozzy's Coming and Colorado Metal Blows Monkey BallsEXPAND
Matthew Zinke

"Black-Metal Drummer Has a Rocky Mountain High"

Pile of Priests celebrates its album-release party on Friday, November 24, at Lost Lake Lounge.EXPAND
Pile of Priests celebrates its album-release party on Friday, November 24, at Lost Lake Lounge.
Photo courtesy of Pile of Priests

"Pile of Priests Despises Religion and Fake Metal"

Josh Drummer's one-man death-metal band Buried Realm just released its debut album, The Ichor Carcinoma.
Josh Drummer's one-man death-metal band Buried Realm just released its debut album, The Ichor Carcinoma.
Courtesy of the artist

"Cancer Inspired This One-Man Death-Metal Band's Masterpiece"

Want to know more about the Osbourne tour? Here's what we reported earlier this week:

Heavy-metal icon, dove- and bat-head biter and former Black Sabbath frontman Ozzy Osbourne has announced his final tour: No More Tours 2 is a reference to the last time he billed a tour as his last, his 1992 No More Tours trek.

He will be joining Zakk Wylde, Blasko, Tommy Clufetos and Adam Wakeman for one last two-year jaunt around the world, celebrating fifty years of rocking out.

“I’ve been blessed with an amazing life,” Osbourne says in a statement. “I’m looking at this final tour as being a huge celebration for my fans and anyone who has enjoyed my music over the past five decades.”

The show will hit Denver's Pepsi Center at 7:30 p.m. on Tuesday, October 2, 2018.

Tickets start at $39.50 and go on sale Saturday, February 17, at 10 a.m. at Altitude Tickets, Live Nation or 303-893-8497.

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