Gwarmageddon is upon us, and since the battlefield of Armaged'don (Revelation 16:16) comes ready-prophesized as "overwrought with a rabid gathering of Neil Diamond fans," the Ogden Theatre beckons a much safer place to be this New Year's Eve. Oderus Urungus and his band of foul-mouthed space pirates are bringing their mutant brand of intergalactic shock treatment to town: a hilarious spectacle that faithfully combines the aesthetics of a monster-truck show with all the brutal lunacy of a mock Roman Colosseum. Witness the gleeful, celebrity-decapitating antics of the Sexicutioner. Hear the thunderous, cheesy sludge metal of bassist Beefcake the Mighty, drummer Jizmak Da Gusha, and guitarists Flattus Maximus and Balsac the Jaws of Death. Drool over dazzling Slymenstra Hymen as she dominates the very milleni-elements: fire, blood, precious "bodily" fluids, lactations and, oh, did we mention fire? Sexy and severe, Hymen holds energetic, flame-blowing court over what might best be described as hyperkinetic boy stuff, a grand-scale comic strip come to life. Last May's show featured newcomer Scroda Moon battling Jabberwocky-sized space creatures, Porcelain the cosmic Portal-Potty and gratuitous helpings from a nitro-burning funny bong. Extras are plentiful for this ambitious Parade of the Id, too, including a cast of costumed stage-crew members, including an extremely busy spew technician. Picture a profane video game erupting at the foot of Mt. Sinai, one that feeds on silly, orgiastic blood sport inspired by grotesqueries ripped from today's headlines. Picture KISS with a sense of humor. Then roll out the slop barrel, auld angsters, because Gwar's grand guignol gets funnier and more ridiculous with each passing show, pausing to snarl and offer a simple and modestly held belief: "Life is cruel! Mercy is for the weak! Earth must be destroyed!" Just the cure for your holiday blues. -- John La Briola
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