Stacy "Fergie" Ferguson is a hot, eager and totally empty vessel. On The Dutchess, she displays an affinity for the sort of mainstream pop that would put most Black Eyed Peas fans to sleep faster than a Blizzard with Tylenol PM sprinkles -- but if acting like a hip-hop ho enhances her fame, she'll do that, too.
It's no surprise that "London Bridge" is already a hit. Who couldn't have guessed that horny boys would dig a song that repeatedly uses the phrase "goin' down"? "Fergalicious," in which top Pea will.i.am swipes the melody from J.J. Fad's "Supersonic," is likely to score as well. But thanks to a botched "The Girl Can't Help It" sample, "Clumsy" most certainly is -- and the disc's final section collapses in a steaming pile of banality. Fergie seems comfortable crooning modified sambas ("Velvet"), drippy weepers ("Big Girls Don't Cry") and Paris Hilton-style reggae numbers ("Mary Jane Shoes"), but that doesn't make the ditties any more tolerable.
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Radio programmers think parts of this disc taste great. But the majority of it is less filling.