When you hear the name Telly Savalas, you probably think Kojak, the iconic character he played on the show of the same name. Actually, if you;re under thirty, you probably think, "Who the fuck is Telly Savalas?" but believe us when we say, that won't hurt your enjoyment of the clip that follows.
See, just as sports stars and actors today frequently turn their hand to rap and churn out horrible (and often horribly hilarious) tracks that serve mostly as a showcase for their own incompetence, in the '70s the same thing was true of disco.
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And Telly could not resist the siren's call of a slow-burning, lounge-disco, spoken-word opportunity to show what a tender, yet macho and sexy guy he was. And the song that resulted was called "If" -- as in "If (this cliche) then (some variation of why can't I tell you how awesome you are/be with you)."
Honestly, it isn't even really disco. It's kind of some kind of Carpenters-lite syrupy pop-crap, but it apparently came out on some disco comp called Disco 75 -- apparently, just as the standards of what you can call rap or hip-hop are pretty damn low, so were the standards of what you could call disco. Anyway, Telly's in fine form, and the groovy superimposed ladyfriend effect is state of the art for thirty-five years ago, we're sure. The result is one hell of a time capsule. Thanks to John Common for the tip.