In honor of Jay-Z and Rocky, who are both out of retirement, a pop quiz to test your boxer-versus-baller acumen.
1. To which upcoming project did Coldplay's Chris Martin make the biggest contribution?
A. Jay-Z's Kingdom Come (out November 21), with vocals on the foreboding "Beach Chair."
Jay-Z vs. Stallone
B. Sly Stallone's Rocky Balboa, for which the song "Fix You" was an interminable source of inspiration. I mean, shit -- "When you try your best but you don't succeed/When you get what you want but not what you need"? That's a Rocky screenplay right there.
2. Which project most unapologetically and ridiculously exploits "technology"?
A. Rocky Balboa. The climactic final fight hinges on a "computer simulation" pitting virtual Rocky against the virtual current champ. You can e-mail Sly Stallone with comments. He's got Internet now, did you hear? Also a fax machine. And a ColecoVision.
B. Kingdom Come. Pharrell produces a track. Pharrell has no musical talent beyond owning a computer.
3. On which project is Lauryn Hill's presence most felt?
A. Kingdom Come, wherein Jigga does his best to acknowledge, pay homage to, then cold rip off Ms. Hill on "Lost One."
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B. Rocky Balboa, because the sheer lunacy of the sixty-year-old Mr. Stallone thinking he can sell a Rocky with "calcium deposits in [his] joints" approximates Ms. Hill's own meltdown.
4. Who indulges the most shameless metaphor?
A. Jay-Z, in comparing a hypothetical future deluge of haterade surging his way with levees breaking on "Trouble."
B. Stallone, for writing, directing and starring in what amounts to a two-hour-long metaphor for Viagra.