Kids Do the Darnedest Things

Madonna's baby-to-be (reportedly a girl to be named Lola, after the Marlene Dietrich character in 1930's The Blue Angel) is a star even before sticking her head out of her mom's well-publicized womb. But will she stay one? It's not easy, as the offspring of the famous performers below can attest.

Star Mom And/Or Dad: Frank Sinatra
Notable Offspring: Nancy Sinatra, Tina Sinatra, Frank Jr.
Career Highlight: Nancy: "These Boots Are Made for Walking" hit number one in 1966. Tina: Wrote a book about - surprise- her dad. Frank Jr.: Was kidnapped as a youth. Strangely, he was returned relatively unharmed.

Recent Accomplishment: Nancy: Posed nude in Playboy to the horror of practically everyone. Tina: Considered suing Frank Sr. for alleged violations of his will, even though he's not dead yet. Frank Jr.: Leads his father's band whenever Pop is together enough to tour. Has lots of free time.

Star Mom And/Or Dad: Elvis and Priscilla Presley
Notable Offspring: Lisa Marie Presley
Career Highlight: Implying on national television that she'd had sex with then-husband Michael Jackson.

Recent Accomplishment: Separating from Michael so she never has to have sex with him again.

Star Mom And/Or Dad: Bob Marley
Notable Offspring: Ziggy Marley, Rohan Marley
Career Highlight: Ziggy: Credibly extending his father's musical legacy. Rohan: As a sophomore linebacker at the University of Miami, he led the team in tackles--and refused to cut his dreadlocks.

Recent Accomplishment: Ziggy: Part of a summer tour wags are calling Hip-Hop-alooza. Rohan: Dropped out of school to go pro but was spurned by NFL. Occasionally sings backup for Ziggy's band. Those dreadlocks are finally paying off.

Star Mom And/Or Dad: Judy Garland and Vincente Minnelli
Notable Offspring: Liza Minnelli, Lorna Luft
Career Highlight: Liza: Won best actress Oscar for Cabaret. Lorna: None to speak of.

Recent Accomplishment: Liza: Made an album with the Pet Shop Boys that was even worse than a Pet Shop Boys album. Lorna: Opened for Don Rickles in Las Vegas in May. Says Liza hasn't spoken to her in nineteen months. Good move, Liza.

Star Mom And/Or Dad: Ringo Starr
Notable Offspring: Zak Starkey
Career Highlight: The only non-star to be a part of Ringo's early Nineties All-Star tours.

Recent Accomplishment: Hired as drummer for a Who-reunion presentation of Quadrophenia in London this summer. Perhaps someday he'll get a chance to play with musicians his own age.

Star Mom And/Or Dad: Steven Tyler and Bebe Buell
Notable Offspring: Liv Tyler
Career Highlight: Convincingly portrayed an easy lay in an Aerosmith video.

Recent Accomplishment: Stars in new Bernardo Bertolucci film, Stealing Beauty. Described in an early review as "pneumatic."

Star Mom And/Or Dad: Frank Zappa
Notable Offspring: Moon (formerly Moon Unit) Zappa, Dweezil Zappa
Career Highlight: Moon: "Valley Girl," a duet with Frank, was a smash in 1982. Dweezil: Was once romantically linked with Demi Moore. Dodged a bullet there, pal.

Recent Accomplishment: Moon: Co-stars with Beverly D'Angelo in the video-express film All Points Between. Dweezil: Cindy Crawford appeared in a commercial for a CD by his band, Z, but the disc still didn't sell. Dad's royalty checks sure come in handy, don't they?

Star Mom And/Or Dad: Sonny and Cher
Notable Offspring: Chastity Bono
Career Highlight: Worked as a greeter at Bono, her father's failed Italian restaurant in L.A. Later fronted a band that went nowhere.

Recent Accomplishment: A columnist for the Advocate, Chastity, a lesbian, publicly criticized Sonny after Congressman Bono sponsored an anti-gay-marriage bill. And the beat goes on.


All-access pass to the top stories, events and offers around town.

  • Top Stories


All-access pass to top stories, events and offers around town.

Sign Up >

No Thanks!

Remind Me Later >