Carmelo Anthony is gone, and the most dragged-out sports breakup in recent memory is finally over. As we understand it, the terms of the trade include every team in the NBA swapping players back and forth randomly until David Stern turns off the music and everyone scrambles for a chair. Or something like that. We deal with things like this by listening to music, and we have five songs to help you make sense of things.5. "New York Is Killing Me," by Gil Scott-Heron
Your new city only
like a sparkly new upgrade, Melo. We Denverites know New York is a chew-you-up-and-spit-you-out sort of place. Enjoy the piranha attack that is the New York media; we'll be back here enjoying our perpetual sunshine and friendly people.4. "Dancing on My Own," by Robyn
This has pretty much been the plight of the Nuggets fan all season: "I'm in the corner/Watching you kiss her," where "her" is every major-market team in the league. This does feel sort of like the sports equivalent of watching someone fall out of love with you, and we find Robyn a particularly helpful companion in these sorts of occasions.3. "In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning," by Frank Sinatra
For the ultimate wallowing song, we regretfully turn to a New Yorker to feel some catharsis for our team's pending potential irrelevance. It's been a crazy ride: Carmelo was the single greatest factor in turning this team into something worth rooting for, and Chauncey had been the face of a group of fan favorites. Hate to see the hometown hero turn into a throw-in.2. "It's Getting Better All the Time," by the Beatles
We know, a little optimistic, but, given the circumstances, the Nuggets got considerably more in exchange for Melo than anyone had any right to expect. After all, there are 28 games left in the season, and after that, he would have been a free agent and the Nuggets would have gotten nothing for him. So the half-dozen players and picks, plus $3 million in cash considerations, should really be reason for optimism.
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So, yeah: "Bitch I'm paid/That's all I gotta say." Plus, we're going to need a new face for the franchise. Yes, it's probably going to wind up being Nene, JR Smith or even Ty Lawson, but we feel Birdman isn't that far out of the question. And here's the thing: This is sports. We can't spend too much time feeling crappy about this turn of events. This is one of those songs that you just can't listen to and still feel sorry for yourself. He's gone. Time to move on.