Guess directing movies isn't as profitable as most of us think. The former Robert Cummings, who's been a Zombie for years now, is fresh off helming last year's The Devil's Rejects, the sequel to his inaugural gore-fest, 2003's House of 1000 Corpses -- yet he's temporarily setting cin-e-mah aside in favor of touring behind a new CD, Educated Horses. The disc is hardly overstuffed: Even counting "Sawdust in the Blood," an instrumental noodle masquerading as a song, it's just 38 minutes long. Moreover, the music's not nearly as visceral as his best work with White Zombie, let alone his on-screen odes to homicide. "The Lords of Salem" recalls the menace of yore, but while "American Witch" and "The Scorpion Sleeps" are enjoyable in a glam-metal way, they won't give night tremors to anyone over age ten. Indeed, Horses feels more like an entertaining goof than a bid for hard-rock supremacy, and this show, co-starring Lacuna Coil and Bullet for My Valentine, is apt to follow suit. When Zombie yells "Cut!" these days, he means film, not flesh.
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