Ten best divorce songs for Tiger Woods, or anyone else headed for Splitsville
Turn up the Tammy
Our long national nightmare is over. On Monday, the divorce between Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren was made official. While Tiger will likely continue to pull strange ass on the road and Nordegren will likely get a dumptruck-load of cash, we're going to suggest these songs to the former couple, or any couple headed toward, or already landed in, Splitsville.
1. Marvin Gaye - Here, My Dear
This entire double album by the soul singer was a concept album of sorts, dedicated to Gaye's failed first marriage to Anna Gordy, the older sister of Motown Records founder Barry Gordy.
2. Tammy Wynette - "D.I.V.O.R.C.E."
An appropriate song for Wynette, who had five husbands over the course of her life. So much for "Stand By Your Man."
3. Steely Dan - "Haitian Divorce"
A funky, melancholy, Caribbean ballad. Listen to it with a beer in a bar without air conditioning for maximum effect.
4. Stephen Lynch - "Divorce Song"
Either you love or loathe Stephen Lynch, but this funny song mentions drinking and poker. Prime line: "Daddy like porno and $10 whores." You get the picture. Unfunny people think this is a funny song. So famously dull (except when he's sending angry sexts) Tiger Woods should enjoy.
5. Liz Phair - "Divorce Song"
The twelfth song on Phair's 1993 album, Exile in Guyville. This song, an open letter to an ex-lover, just sounds dated (except for the last thirty seconds, which include a blistering harmonica outro), but the lyrics are timeless: "It's harder to be friends than lovers, and you shouldn't try to mix the two."
6. DJ Quik, featuring James DeBarge - "That Divorce Song"
This record just turned ten years old in May. It starts off slow and a little dreamy and builds into a solid pop/R&B song. "If you feel like I feel, you wouldn't act this way, girl." True.
7. Elbow - "Grounds for Divorce"
This 2008 single is uplifting in a middle-finger-in-the-air sort of way, which may explain why you might recognize it from the television dramas House MD or Rescue Me.
8. It's a Buffalo - "Divorce Song"
This song was a surprise. By the apparently now broken-up four-piece from Manchester, England, "Divorce Song" is a fine little gem that may make you feel like there's life after the big D.
9. Japanther - "Divorce"
And now for something completely different: This throbbing organ of a song is good to play loudly when your soon-to-be ex is going on and on about why you can't do anything right.
10. "The Ultimate Divorce Song"
This one is sad and kind of creepy, mostly because she's performing the song in her shower. Thanks, YouTube. I'm sure this was therapeutic for at least one person.
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