Ten things to know if you're going to Global Dance Festival

Before you thinking about drinking the goo inside these, read this list.
Before you thinking about drinking the goo inside these, read this list.

One of Colorado's biggest massives is going off tonight and tomorrow at Red Rocks. We're talking, of course, about the hotly anticipated two-day edition of Global Dance Festival. If you've always been curious about dance music and are wondering if this is a good opportunity to indulge in it, let us assure you: It is.

But before you pack up your glow sticks and head up to the foothills, we've got a few pieces of advice for you first-time party kids. Hit the break for ten tips to have a safe, sane and thoroughly awesome time dancing your ass off in a natural wonderland.

1) Be yourself. The dance-music scene is incredibly welcoming to newcomers, but no one likes a poser. Don't feel like you need to dress up in some hastily constructed "raver costume" based on something you saw on 60 Minutes five years ago. Chances are you will just look like an ass and induce snickers from passersby. On the other hand, dress like you always do, and it will likely be obvious to many that it's your first time. Ravers love first-timers and are far more likely to take you under their wing than if you're trying to be something you're not.

2) Be nice. Like we said, the dance-music scene is super-friendly, but you need to give back the same vibe. Don't stare at people doing what appears to you to be "weird shit," don't make snide comments about the at-times unusual fashion sense on display, and don't stick your nose where it doesn't belong. You know, the basic things your mom taught you (or should have). When in doubt, the rule is simple: Don't be a dick.

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3) Be smart. We all know that there are certain things being ingested for their exotic effects. That doesn't mean it's a good idea. The promoters and security will kick you out if they see you engaging in illicit activity. Actually, they won't kick you out; they'll turn you over to the cops. And buying something from some random dude in the parking lot and swallowing it could leave you sick or dead. That's a bad trip no matter how you cut it. People do what people do, but whatever you do, just be smart about it.

4) Make some friends. If you've only ever been to rock shows, you are going to be amazed at how friendly and outgoing people are. Take advantage of this and make a new friend/guide. It's amazing how much more fun you'll have when you can ask your new friend what something means, why that guy is doing that weird thing and what the hell the DJ is actually doing up there to make that constant, irresistible oomph-oomph-oomph.

5) Yes, those girls are as young as they look. So stop staring. And for God's sake, don't try to pick any of them up. You do not want to be that guy. As far as we know, Chris Hansen doesn't run pedophile sting operations at raves, but he could. Besides, those girls are there to dance, not get picked up by some sleazy dude. They wear skimpy clothing because they can feel safe doing it (like we said, it's a pretty friendly crowd), not to get your attention. Really. (P.S.: It's moderately okay to stare at the go-go dancers, and they are all of legal age, so enjoy).

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