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That's enough already, Dave Grohl

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Dave Grohl is one of my favorite dudes in the world but he needs to hop off my radar for a minute. I'm a mega Nirvana fan and I've always admired Dave for his talent and humor, but lately I can't seem to get him out of my face. His mug is everywhere.

It all seemed to start almost a decade ago when Grohl became a talking head on VH1-type shows, providing expert commentary on some of his favorite bands. He was loose, informed, entertaining. Everybody loved him. Once his skills were exposed, he quickly became the go-to guy for a good sound bite as a talking head, a special guest or a drop-in drummer. He seems to be able to do everything (and do it well), so he's useful in many situations. Producers have decided that he's their No. 1 man -- his presence is clearly seen as an improvement to any event. He slowly moved from his long-held role of rock & roll everyman into professional event attendee.

And now, oh now, the man is everywhere. I barely even watch television, and he still manages to make it on any screen near me with the frequency of the rising sun. Grohl is like a freakin' jack-in-the-box -- you know he's going to pop up, you just don't know when. One of my favorite games is to try to spot him during major televised events. I don't know dick about football, so I spent the majority of the last Superbowl game scanning the crowd shots for his floppy hair -- like a post-grunge version of Where's Waldo. I didn't see him during my Superbowl party, but I saw a photograph of him later after the game and felt validated. He was there. Of course he was there. I knew it.

Award show? Grohl is there. Major festival? Grohl is playing it. High-profile collaboration? Grohl designed it. Supergroup? Grohl is up in it. Featured drummer? Grohl can do that. Receiving honors? Grohl is good at it. Star-studded tributes? Grohl jumps in. Music documentary? Grohl makes them. Rock the vote? Grohl rocks it all night. Photobombs? Grohl kills. Film festival? Grohl is there. One-off performances? Grohl makes it happen. Television cameo? Grohl picks the X-Files. Country music? Grohl loves it. Foo Fighters videos? Grohl does them perfectly. Charity events? Grohl participates. Led Zeppelin? Grohl digs 'em. Internet memes? Grohl makes a fresh one. Protesting? Grohl does it in costume. iPhone party? Grohl wants in on that action. Lemmy time? Grohl steals the show. Punk legends? Grohl knows them. Video-game conventions? Grohl is the wizard. Late-night talk shows? Grohl does Letterman. Roling Stones concerts? Grohl makes them better. Producing sitcoms? Grohl thinks it's easy. Birthday celebration? Grohl works those. Saturday Night Live? Grohl is the most frequent musical guest. Video guest star? Grohl wiggles on in. Surprise gigs? Grohl is all over it. South by Southwest? Grohl gives the keynote address.

Forget about Kurt Cobain: Grohl is clearly the voice of our generation -- if only because he never lets anyone else speak.

There's a reason that his number is always called: He's smart, he's funny, he speaks well, he's good-looking and he always seems to be in on the joke. He's an affable dude, and his laid-back nature and casual cursing makes him seem like cool big brother. Grohl is nearly universally loved. He just gets it. And he seems to genuinely enjoy making fun, collaborative things happen during otherwise boring events. There are very few people who most of us would like to kick it with, and Grohl just seems like the kind of guy who would never have to buy his own shot in any bar on the planet.

Last year, Grohl released his Sound City documentary. It's pretty excellent, though it did sort of seem like 108 minutes of justifying Grohl's eventual purchase of the Sound City Neve board. (Apparently the most holy console since the Megasound 8000 in Josie and the Pussycats.) This documentary served as his official entrance into the film world, so expect him to expand his appearance résumé to include events that aren't musical at all. In this and other mediums, Grohl seems to be the opposite of everything that his generation is usually accused of (unambitious, lazy, directionless). Homeboy is going to get it all done, no matter what.

 

Lately, Grohl seems to be fixated on sucking at the teat of Paul McCartney. But if you're going to cling like a baby rhesus monkey to somebody, it might as well be the only living Beatle. (Shut up; nobody counts Ringo.) Still, Grohl seems to have been a barnacle on Sir Paul's nards ever since they got together to make a Sound City song. They've played together many times since then and just a few days ago, Grohl performed "Hey Bulldog" in that Grammys tribute to the Beatles. (Shit, Grohl could even pass for George Harrison at this point.)

Despite his many ass-kissing obligations, Grohl always seems to find a way to give back, too. His counterprotests of Westboro Baptist Church, participation in charity/awareness events and the small ways that he always seems to try to give back to fans do not go entirely unnoticed -- but sometimes it's hard to see these beautiful little gestures through the absolute blizzard of Grohl appearances.

So is Dave Grohl good? Yeah, he's fucking great. And if he is our new cultural king, then we should welcome him -- we could do much worse. But right now he's like the ex that won't stop texting you. You feel smothered. You wanna be like, "Dude, if you would just get up out of my business, like, ever, I would like you so much more." So go away, Dave Grohl. But don't stay gone forever, just enough to make us miss you. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and we'll be ready to love you again later, but for right now you just need to get up out of my face for a while, OK?

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