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Top Five Mile High Music Fest Artists I Kinda Want to Lick

3OH!3's Sean Foreman won't trust a ho, but that doesn't mean they can't lust after him.
3OH!3's Sean Foreman won't trust a ho, but that doesn't mean they can't lust after him.
Aaron Thackeray

The author is a Denver-based music junkie and quasi-music writer of the female variety, and not she's afraid to admit that she sometimes wants to make out with the bands she writes about.

This year's Mile High Music Festival billed some of the hottest bands around. But since I sometimes struggle to separate my music-fan side from my you're-dreamy-would-you-mind-if-licked-your-face? side, I couldn't help but notice that it also featured some of the hottest-looking bands. Needless to say, I was in fan-girl heaven as I scuttled from stage to stage reviewing sweaty, sexy sets and interviewing lovely musicians, marveling at their wonderfully asymmetrical hair and excessively skinny pants. So -- now that I've finally stopped panting -- here are the top five Mile High Music Festival musicians I'd like to lick. Or be licked by. Either way.

Insert Special Sauce joke here.
Insert Special Sauce joke here.
Brian Landis Folkins

1. G. Love The charming Garret Dutton was far and away the most attractive person at the festival. From his secretive smile to his soothing voice, the man oozes sex appeal. During our short interview, he leaned in close to casually chat about the Mile High Club and fornicating on trains -- a cruel form of seduction since said fornicating was not, sadly, with me. What was I thinking when he threw his arm around my shoulders and laid down a hot freestyle rap? You don't want to know. Actually, you probably do.

I'm down here, Sean!
I'm down here, Sean!
Photo by the anonymous author.

2. Sean Foreman (3OH!3) I was pleasantly surprised to learn that I am officially lusting after both members of our hometown rap duo. While the lovably lanky Nat Motte staked an early claim on my 3OH!3 to-do list, I had written off Sean Foreman as the short, dorky sidekick. But staring into his Pacific-blue eyes, my lips actually quivered. In addition to producing chart-topping songs and pumping his soul into every live performance, Foreman is officially delicious.

 

Sadly, they do not make a Jack's Mannequin mannequin. Do they?
Sadly, they do not make a Jack's Mannequin mannequin. Do they?
Brian Landis Folkins

3. Andrew McMahon (Jack's Mannequin) As I zoomed around the photo pit pretending to snap pictures of Jack's Mannequin, I prayed that the boyish frontman would come close enough for me to touch. (I realize it might have blown my cover if I would have actually grabbed him, but that was a risk I was willing to take). Sweating through his blue t-shirt and playing with unparalleled energy, I couldn't help but be drawn to him and his undeniable musical gift. And there was something hot about the way he took a rockstar leap onto his piano and shook his ass like a rap-video ho.

If only I'd known Erin during my sophomore year in college.
If only I'd known Erin during my sophomore year in college.
Brian Landis Folkins

4. Erin McCarley I realize that she is not a sweaty frontman, but if you saw her perform, you'd want to lick her too. Under the blazing Denver sun, the singer-songwriter put on a stunning performance to match her stunning beauty. She is a visual rarity, coveting the look of both the innocent schoolgirl and the provocative vixen -- a versatility that could just as easily land her a roll in a romantic comedy as it could the lead in a steamy adult film (which I would definitely watch). And the woman can sing.

 

You had me with your useless bandana.
You had me with your useless bandana.
Brian Landis Folkins

5. Electric Touch. (All four of them, preferably at once). This exciting new band gushed with enthusiasm, gratitude, and beauty. Clad in super-skinny jeans, tight shirts, and unique accessories, the foursome drew a huge crowd with their melodic indie rock, despite their early set time. During our interview, I had trouble focusing on one boy at a time. Lead singer Shane Lawlor spoke with a sultry English accent, while bass player Ross Dubois rocked the oh-so-sexy 50's look. Guitarist Christopher Leigh donned the shaggy hair that us women love, while his brother drummer Louis Messina Jr. continually showed off his gorgeous smile. Oh, and they're twins. Really hot twins. Need I say more?


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