Top Ten Songs from the '00s That Will Puzzle Future Generations
Wonder if whoever set these misfit creatures loose happened to notice their poker faces?
This last decade has seen several genres rise and fall on the Billboard charts and because of that we've had a weird array of singles briefly topping the charts. In ten years or so, when we look back on the '00s there are a few songs that might make us cringe and wonder what on earth the world was like back then. To be fair, this isn't a list of the worst songs of the decade, just the ones we imagine might confuse the children of tomorrow.
10. Black Eyes Peas "Where is the Love?"
In the future, when the war on terrorism is won by the CIA using grenades and EMPs and the world is a safe and quiet place (if Tom Clancy is to be believed anyway), the Black Eyed Peas criticism of the CIA simply won't make any sense. Toss in the fact that Will.i.am proved his excellent spelling abilities a few years later on "Fergilicious," and we just won't trust these guys.
9. Outkast "Hey Ya!"
The famous line "shake it like a Polaroid picture" will be a moot point over the next ten years, seeing as how Polaroid film no longer exists. Maybe they should have used the line, "shake it like a synthetic plastic sheet."
8. T-Pain "Buy A Drank"
We can only hope and pray that in ten years time we'll have gotten over auto-tune. We got over the talk box and the vocoder a few decades ago, so rest assured T-Pain's whimsical and over-use of the thing will be a running joke (he might have already beat us to it on "I'm on a Boat," proving he's smarter than all of us) in the next decade. If nothing else, by then, we'll have at least figured out the Associated Press' rule for the correct spelling of "shawty."
7. Katy Perry "I Kissed A Girl"
Ten years from now we'll be looking back on the this decade and a curious little single about a girl kissing a girl will make us all wonder what type of Neanderthals could have possibly found this song controversial -- or worse, good.
6. Miley Cyrus "7 Things"
Miley Cyrus anthemic song about hating a dude has a particular line that, hopefully, won't make a lot of sense in the coming years, "If you text it I'll delete it." That is, unless we somehow don't get over the whole communicated through text-messages phenomenon, and Bluetooth brain implants don't become a reality.
5. Gwen Stefani "Hollaback Girl"
Another case of bad typing skills, "Hollaback Girl" will leave a weird taste in the mouths of our future selves, most likely culminating in an insatiable hunger for bananas. When aliens are ruling and going through our artifacts, they'll find this bizarre little track and wonder where, exactly, our priorities were (we were hungry, like monkeys?).
4. Lady Gaga "Poker Face"
We're not saying we're ready for the World Series of poker or anything, but Lady Gaga's version of poker is the most baffling correspondence with the game we've ever seen. Sure, it's a bumping pop tune, but in the future, when all poker players have been defeated by robots and our only retaliation comes from what we've learned from this song, we'll be utterly screwed, probably always playing the cards with spades on them first, and accidentally switching to Russian Roulette midway through.
3. Avril Lavigne "Sk8er Boi"
By this point, we could have probably just titled this list "Worst Usage of Text Message Lingo in Song," but we still feel the need to point out that in the future, perhaps even because of Avril Lavigne's own plights, skater boys will be able to date whoever the hell they like, and this song just won't make any damn sense anymore.
2. Paris Hilton "Stars Are Blind"
We're not entirely certain Paris Hilton's voice is actually anywhere in this song, and we're curious as to how future generations are going to interpret this video. Are they going to believe it? Will the future be full of people who don't know who Paris Hilton is, and will they like this? We're genuinely frightened.
1. Baja Men "Who Let the Dogs Out?"
In 2000, an entire nation was reeling in the constant fear that someone had let out a pack of dogs on an unsuspecting public. We would hide in our houses for days on end worrying about the dog attacks we'd heard about in this song.
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