There you have it: Fourteen-year-old Bieber's debut full-length is on top of the Billboard album chart. His debut EP, meanwhile, is at number five. That one's called My World (get it?) -- can't argue with either title. This makes him the youngest chart-topper since Stevie Wonder, yet something tells us their career arcs won't parallel for long. Also, if Usher's Raymond vs. Raymond doesn't unseat My World 2.0 next week, will Usher kick Bieber off his label or just cry in the shower?
Doesn't look like that's going to happen, however -- early figures for next week have Usher duking it out with, of all people, Erykah Badu for the number one spot.
Over in singles land, Rihanna's "Rude Boy" is number one for the third week running. We have no new opinions on that lack of development.
Speaking of stagnation, here is a list of this week's top 10: 1. "Rude Boy" by Rihanna 2. "Nothin' On You" by B.o.B. ft. Bruno Mars 3. "Hey, Soul Sister" by Train 4. "Need You Now" by Lady Antebellum 5. "Telephone" by Lady Gaga ft. Beyonce 6. "Break Your Heart" by Taio Cruz ft. Ludacris 7. "Imma Be" by The Black Eyed Peas 8. "Baby" by Justin Bieber ft. Ludacris 9. "BedRock" by Young Money ft. Lloyd 10. "TiK ToK" by Ke$ha
Snooze, obviously, but care to guess which of those two songs has been charting the longest? If you said it was Lady Antebellum and Train, in that order, you'd be correct. We'd also be surprised, because neither of those songs is even remotely galvanizing or massively visible. Neither has hit number one, and it's unlikely that they ever will. So they chug along, presumably making lots of people who don't spend much time thinking about music very happy.
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"Telephone," despite having the year's best video thus far, took a bit of a dip this week. That's probably because the word is out, and it's pretty much unanimous: "Telephone" is not very good. Lady Gaga's flair for aesthetic showmanship might be outpacing her ability to write pop music, and that balance will not support an enduring career.
We close this week's chart-opining with Billboard accidentally using a picture of Flo Rida next to Ke$ha's entry on the Hot 100 top ten. This is especially funny because Ke$ha refused to be credited on Flo Rida's "Right Round" for her back up vocals or appear in the video because she thinks he is terrible. Enjoy it while it lasts.