Audio books are all about finding the perfect actor with the perfect voice to read to you while you drive across the country. So, when we heard Will Oldham had taken on the narration of Rudolph Wurlitzer's Slow Fade, we started thinking about what other artists should venture into the same business. After all, records have been struggling to sell, but audio books seem to be doing pretty well still. Click through to see what we came up with.
10. Tom Waits - Alice in Wonderland This makes enough sense that we probably don't really need to explain it, but in case you've been living in a Tom Waits-free cocoon for the last decade: Waits is really into Alice in Wonderland. He talks about it all the time, even made an album about it. Oh, and he's got what we consider one of the most awesome voices of all time (next to Liam Neeson).
9. Colin Meloy - Moby Dick While the entirety of the Decemberists catalog isn't always our cup of tea, there is no denying "The Mariner's Revenge Song," is a fabulous yarn-strung fiction. Because of this fact, combined with several other nautical themed Decemberists tracks, it would seem like a perfect fit to hear lead singer Colin Meloy reading Moby Dick. Maybe the abridged version though.
8. Slim Cessna - Winnie The Pooh Slim Cessna is kind of scary -- which is why it would be an awesome for him to read the tales of Winnie the Pooh, Christopher Robin and Eeyore. It probably wouldn't be the best children's hour in the state, but it would certainly provide some great adult entertainment.
7. Bruce Springsteen - Grapes of Wrath This one is pretty obvious, but we still can't help but wonder how it would sound. On the surface, it seems like it would be a great idea, but there's a reasonable chance things could go horribly awry. Still, ever since we heard "The Ghost of Tom Joad," we've always wanted to hear Springsteen's take on the whole novel.
6. Bob Dylan - Gravity's Rainbow Look, we can't understand a damn word coming out of Bob Dylan's mouth these days, which is why we decided to pair it up with a book that we can barely understand. Might as well turn it into a crazy, rambling story about World War II that involves Watergate, V-2 rockets and Charlie Parker. Actually, that kind of sounds like a Bob Dylan song already.
5. Yasuko Onuki (Melt Banana) - T.S. Eliot's "The Wasteland" Don't ask why, but when we started paring up the crazy voice of Yasuko Onuki with T.S. Eliot's epic poem, we couldn't stop laughing. Just think of the smallish, Japanese noise singer reading "Hurry up please it's time/Goonight Bill. Goonight Lou. Goonight May. Goonight/Ta ta. Goonight. Goonight." It would be awesome.
4. J.R. Hayes (Pig Destroyer) - Mr. T Read Along Book: The Dilemma of the Double-Edged Dagger If you're wondering why we chose J.R. Hayes for this one, there isn't actually a logical reason. We just like how spastic, literate and crazy he is as a grindcore singer and subsequently, feel like he'd be a perfect person to bring the Mr. T Read Along Books into the 21st Century.
3. DMX - Dick and Jane Follow our line of logic here: DMX barks like a dog a lot, Dick and Jane is famous for the line, "See Spot Run." Now picture DMX reading those lines. Do we need to say more?
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2. CocoRosie - The Lorax The girls in CocoRosie are weird enough as it is, but we figure they'd be one of very few musicians able to handle a Dr. Seuss book, and The Lorax seems like it would be the best one for them. If they could do the narration with some weird music in the background it might work best, but even if they were just reading it straight we're pretty certain it'd be amazing.
1. R. Kelly - Any Nora Roberts romance novel R. Kelly is the self-professed master of all things sexy, so we're actually a bit surprised he hasn't already written a romance novel, but since he doesn't seem like he's going to, we'd suggest he reads any one of Nora Roberts classic novels.