It's been a month to the day since the Daily Beast declared Denver to be the fifth-smartest city in the United States -- and apparently the folks at the American Psychological Association think our incredible brainpower is working against us. An APA survey says Denver residents are more stressed than Americans nationwide.
If true, these results would leave us feeling even more nervous and anxious than we already are. But fortunately, the assertion strikes us as a steaming load of goat clusters. In case the APA hadn't noticed, Denver is among the most beautiful cities in the U.S., and its proximity to so many natural wonders offers a wide array of recreational opportunities that burn stress, not cause it. I mean, I haven't seen a single photo from On the Edge, our new sports-and-rec blog, featuring a skier who's crying.
Besides, people in plenty of other cities have more reasons to be stressed than Denverities. Here's our top ten:
10. New York City Reason for stress: Michael Bloomberg has so much money he could keep winning mayoral elections for decades.
9. Chicago Reason for stress: The creeping feeling that Jay Cutler isn't all he's cracked up to be.
8. Sacramento Reason for stress: People are afraid to admit they don't really understand what Arnold Schwarzenegger is saying.
7. Las Vegas Reason for stress: More vacant homes than occupied ones these days -- not to mention the fact that all those cadavers in CSI episodes have got to be taking a toll.
6. Honolulu Reason for stress: How much perfection can the average person take before he's fitted for a straitjacket?
5. Los Angeles Reason for stress: The fear that plastic surgery will be mandated for everyone over age 23.
4. Washington, D.C. Reason for stress: More people who think they're right and everyone else is wrong than anywhere else on the planet.
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3. Memphis Reason for stress: Elvis Presley is still dead.
2. Philadelphia Reason for stress: Pedro Martinez is pitching in game six of the World Series against the Yankees. Who are his daddies.
1. Detroit Reason for stress: Because it's Detroit. Duh.