Back in March, Metro State's Board of Trustees announced their plan to change the school's name to Denver State University -- a lackluster choice that also managed to piss off the folks at the University of Denver. So Metro is now asking students to choose among three new possibilities -- all a helluva lot more boring than our suggestions, which are on view below complete with matching logos capable of luring new enrollees in droves.
The latest picks -- Metropolitan Denver State University, Denver Metropolitan State University and Denver State Metropolitan University -- sound as if administrators chose the first labels that popped into their head and then shifted them around a few times. Would the next two choices have been University Metropolitan State Denver and Denver University State Metropolitan? Or did they consider using some words more than once -- like Metropolitan University Metropolitan or Denver Denver State State State?
Whatever the case, it's not too late to consider some alternatives we first shared in the post "Top 10 names for Metro State better than Denver State University." Count 'em down below.
10. Denver Awesome College of Sharktiger
9. Dr. Reefer's Mile High Institute of Bud Tending and Ounce Counting
8. The Fraternity-Free, Moderately Diverse Establishment for Sheltered College Experiences
7. The Harvard of Northwestern Auraria
6. The Relatively Inexpensive Institute of Just Getting It Over With
5. Vocational College of Business Finance Degree
4. Denver Community College of Two More Years
3. Some College of Denver
2. Denver University of Lowered Expectations
1. Crazy-Time College of Boozy Hijinks and Random T&A Set to '80s Music
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
Click here to follow and like the Michael Roberts/Westword Facebook page.
More from our News archive: "Moose faces off against snowmobiler: Who do you hope wins? (VIDEO)"