A glossary of kink terms you didn't want to know but now will

There are rules to every game, and learning about kink starts with identifying some basic BDSM definitions -- and reading this week's cover story, "Kink of the Jungle," of course. Below is an abbreviated selection of terms that may be unknown to non-kinksters, or as they are known, vanillas. Read them with caution, because if a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, then a little more might inspire a permanent vacation to the dark side.

Anal training: Inserting progressively long and/or girthy objects like butt plugs into an anus to stretch the sphincter for sexual activity. Author's note: Lube is your friend.

A glossary of kink terms you didn't want to know but now will

Black sheet party: Slang term for an orgy involving people into BDSM. Author's note: Not to be confused with a blanket party -- that is the bad kind of bad.

Cell popping: A form of body modification, also referred to as micro-branding, which involves using a red-hot needle or poker to make a series of dots on the skin. Author's note: Of course it hurts, but so does love.

Dragon's tail: A type of whip with a broad, triangular piece of suede or leather that tapers down to a point. Author's note: So much ouch.

Emotional play: A type of psychological BDSM play involving humiliation, fear, shame or other elements that cause the recipient to have an emotional response. Author's note: It's like watching Fox News, only more fun.

A glossary of kink terms you didn't want to know but now will

Figging: Inserting a piece of ginger or a hot chili pepper into the anus to produce a burning sensation. Author's note: Make sure you can remove it. That trip to the E.R. is not one you want to explain to your HMO.

Golden shower: The act of urinating on someone. Author's note: It's the bio-filtered drink of champions.

Hard limit: A non-negotiable boundary that is discussed and agreed upon as part of safe BDSM play. Author's note: "No" really means "no" here.

Informed consent: The principle of consent being given with full knowledge of events, circumstances and participants -- and the ability to give consent, i.e. not being coerced or under the influence of alcohol or drugs. Author's note: This is why screwing dogs is a bad idea -- also because screwing a dog is gross.

Jerkoff: The vanilla idiot who shows up uninvited at a kink play party and tries to screw everything that moves until he is either asked to vacate or is removed from the premises. Author's note: Seriously, nobody likes this guy.

Knife play: BDSM play that involved the use of knives to psychologically torment and/or draw blood from a player. Author's note: Jeweled daggers work well here.

Lactation: A fetish for human female breast milk, sometimes involving the actual expression of milk. Author's note: Mothers need love, too.

Mindfuck: The act of manipulating someone's perception of reality. Author's note: The Tea Party does this every day.



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