Our original post about the ten weirdest items on Denver Craigslist and its equally strange sequel didn't adequately prepare us for the oddities to be found on the site when it comes to taxidermy -- including the elusive Assquatch, which came and went too quickly to track. More on that below, along with some genuinely creepy looks at the animal kingdom. Count down our latest and most outrageous Denver Craigslist top ten below. Number 10: Variety of Cleaned Animal Skulls -- $10
This seller has been doing taxidermy for six years, and he's not done: The bony bits are on sale for $10 apiece so he'll have room for more skulls.
Those on the block represent a regular Noah's Ark worth of heads. They include four bobcats, three raccoon, three coyotes, three skunks, three red foxes, three gray foxes, one beaver, one small stag deer, one possum, three jackrabbits, three cotton-tail rabbits, three muskrats, one badger and one mallard duck. Who probably should have ducked.
Want to scare the hell out of yourself every time you enter a room? Then plunk down some cash for this furry friend, who seems to be bursting through a wall ready to make a snack of someone juicy and human. Page down to see more of the ten weirdest taxidermy sales on Denver Craigslist. Number 8: IBEX TAXIDERMY FULL MOUNT -- $2800 (LITTLETON)
"GREAT BEARD ON THIS MOUNT," notes the owner about this Ibex from the Pawnee Buttes area -- and there's no doubt about that. He's such a Beardo that he ought to join Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes. Definitely got a cool enough expression.... Number 7: Alaskan Beaver Skulls -- $75 (Aurora)
The following description gets downright scientific: "Alaskan Beaver Skulls (Genus Castor) complete with lower jaws and professionally cleaned by an experienced taxidermist that specializes in museum and collector quality skulls. Large, XX-Large and Jumbo size, Flawless."
Big choppers, too.
Page down to see more of the ten weirdest taxidermy sales on Denver Craigslist. Number 6: "Goofy Horned" Pronghorn Antelope Shoulder Mount -- $350 (Lakewood, CO)
Just because this guy's horns aren't exactly symmetrical is no reason to give him a complex about it! Number 5: Horse Tail with Hide -- Dark Brown and Chestnut Hair -- $25 (Cherry Creek S Dr)
The owner of this item writes: "I purchased a horse tail online because I needed some horse hair for a project, and I didn't realize it came with the hide and everything! So now it kind of creeps me out."
We know right where you're coming from.
Page down to see more of the ten weirdest taxidermy sales on Denver Craigslist. Number 4: Taxidermy Bobcat -- $400 (Arvada)
This kitty looks like it's got back and neck problems -- or else it smells something super-good on that ceiling.
By the way, the owner is willing to consider a trade for this taxidermic marvel. "I am looking for a bike," he writes. "Doctor says I need some exercise."
The bobcat does, too.
An action scene transformed into a three-dimensional freeze frame. On the positive tip, the mountain lion is never going to catch that deer -- but neither is the deer going to escape.
Wow. I'm kinda bummed out now.
Page down to see more of the ten weirdest taxidermy sales on Denver Craigslist. Number 2: RACCOON MOUNT TAXIDERMY -- $300 (ARVADA)
Aren't raccoon supposed to be cute? This must be the friggin' Jason Voorhees of the raccoon world. Give that creature a hockey mask! Number 1: Assquatch!
When we came upon this item -- for a mounted deer's butt turned into a Sasquatch face -- we were amazed. But someone else must have been sickened, because when we went back to the listing, it announced that the posting had been flagged for removal.
Intrigued, we searched for "Assquatch" and scored a hit with Assquatch.com, which is supposedly "Dedicated to Deer Butt, Weird and Funny Taxidermy Pictures, Deer Butt Mounts, and More!" But there's almost nothing on the site aside from the photo above and an essay that features the following passage:
If are you into deer hunting, you may have heard about the Assquatch while sharing hunting stories or seen it in taxidermy pictures. If you enjoy novelty taxidermy or animal mounts, you may even be lucky enough to know a taxidermist with the power to produce such a work of art from the butt of a deer. No matter who you are, one thing is certain...
Whether you're a seasoned hunter, a city slicking pansy, or somewhere in between, you will be utterly amazed and entranced by this glorious creature.
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SHOW ME HOW
Truer words were never spoken.
More from our Lists & Weirdness archive: "Fifty latest reasons Colorado is the best state in the country."